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Saturday, January 01, 2005
happy new yr to everyone out there. i'm getting a slight heahache again. its like after Saf say i always say i have headache, i became concious. like, i start to tk note of my haedache and really, hmmm, happens a few times a day. while, yesterday's celebration was ok. was at orchard, eat at cinleisure then went to sing ktv at i=dun=noe=the=name=of=the=place. hmmm, then at first, dennis say most prob they will spend the nite outside. so ok, since we sing til 11pm. but at abt 12 plus they decided to go home. -_-" but by then i dun have buses home already. there was train so tk to dennis place loh. din wanna spend the nite at his place again but ah, no transport home. o_O And din get to meet Saf too, thou we were both like @ orchard. a few times i wanted to go find him n chat, but hmmm, din get the chance to. feel abit left out a few times. And while dennis and his 4c gang tok, most of the time i am sitting down there, ktv also like that. and dennis say wanna split n all that so everyone interact, well, guess wat, we did split, but interact? okok only loh. and half the time at the ktv, i sit there. at times toking here n there. And when they went for supper, i expect that too, so ask him if they were staying for quite awhile, if yes, i go look for my friend. he say they stay awhile only, well, its one hr plus. -_-" and i feel he din really wan me to go. hai~ last time it was hz, now its safuan. i din sulk or anything coz its his birthday. i can understand he wanna spend it with as many ppl as possible. but i kinda feel abit extra there. not as bad as last time, but still abit. they are all v nice ppl loh, but i hardly mix with em mah. can see they wanna make me comfortable and all that also loh. but i feel that when there is friend and ur bf/gf one is most prob gonna be left out, unless they always hang out together. i'm ok with it, but for so long it hardly happens. maybe coz when i go out, i usually dun ask him along, and vice versa. he used to call me along but i din want to, coz he will have not enuff time with his friend. maybe i train him. and i think this way too, i dun wanna have to split myself or watever, i hate the "sandwiched" feeling. so there u go, my new yr eve's. its not as bad as it sounds, got sing n all. i like singing but hardly sing lah, feels weird. i rather give em the chance to sing, its abit like a class gathering thing to me. and my haedache start coming again. n its sorta there, just more or less of it. i think, hmmm, dennis dun really understand leh. like i have to remind him i am having headache. think i am v particular sia. haha. but hmmm, he still try to please me when he can lah. oh yah, it was wee's birthday too. and guess what? sandy, hz and herman combine to buy a gift for him. i was left out. basically. i mean, i shld have asked, but how i ask something that i dun noe? chim rite. i think not many ppl were ask to combine the gift, but my two closer friendsin class, one i regard as bestest n always combine gift with, left me out too. then i say to sandy, buy gift nv ask. and that was after she give the gift to wee n i noe they combined. she say rite infront of wee, "wanna combine?" Rite, thanx for the tot, but no. no need already. hmmm, i have been reviewing my life recently. i think i sorta noe wat i wan now. but maybe i shld review it again coz obviously, my circle of friends is kinda weak. or if i have any friends left to begin with. hz have been on n off with me recently, i think. even giving me attitude the other day. and i have no idea why. somehow i feel mite be becoz of me. maybe coz i sleep in the avid and after that wanna go home. not doing my job v well as a editior i guess. *sigh maybe maybe maybe. and i feel that maybe he dun even trust me much anymore. oh well, nothing i can do. coz i dunnoe what is going on now. everything just seem.... complicated, for no apparent reasons. and i dun understand. i mean i sorta think abt wats going on, but i'm thinking, why is all this affecting my other things? tsk tsk tsk. in my little world again. sometimes i feel, i hardly have ppl who really understand me. rose |
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