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Sunday, December 26, 2004
sometimes, i think no one understand me. i dun blame them. but i wonder why they dun. anyone who wanna find a bitch who dun appreciate free gifts, i'm here. Dennis just now came by, gave me an ericsion handphoe that is to me, v expensive. i wasn't v happy. i din wan him to spend so much on a phone on me! if its a free phone with plans, i will be v v glad to accept, but this phone, its abit too much. He always spend alot on my birthday gifts, so this is birthday present in advanced. My christmas gift? two set of cutie cartoon undergarments and chocolates. weird rite? i mean, i find it really weird to get undergarments for christmas, and somehow, it just feel abit too personal. like, u noe, we are at that stage already, coz i tot, only married couples do that. Well, and where did the gift idea came abt? He called me, ask me wat i wan for christmas. i told him, just anything simple, small, no need to spend alot just on christmas. wat i wan is pratical, useful. And when he ask if its bag or shoes, i said no. i mean, i wan something he comes up with u noe? not always is what i need. i dun wan that anymore, so i tot, let him figure. And gues wat, he ask emily. he always ask emily for ideas on gift. and my dearest sister told him it shld be undergarment. WHAT?!! she told him to get me that? and faithful dennis ask his sister along n went shopping. I'm ok with it already, thou i find it kinda weird for a christmas gift. but i appreciate it thou, coz i noe its not easy for dennis to get such gifts. it needs alot of courageto buy that. except that now his family thinks we are v close, i mean, the mum seem to be suspicious of us. like scared that we mite do something wrong. -_-" Then the phone. emily noes abt it too. i am like. %@$%@#%@!!!! then when dennis gave it to me, i cld not believe it. i ask him to tk it back. he refused. then for the 1 hr he was here, i admit i din treat him v well, like grumbling abt him spending so much, how troublesome i have to transfer the numbers n so on. basically, being a bitch. and i think my mama n emily THINKS i am unappreciative, blah blah blah. ppl already buy the phone, blah blah, so gd then still give him black face..blah. i am like, i dunnoe, if he spend so much on me and i am like damn happy, i dun think thats a gd thing. and i told my mum, if he gives me gd thing, does it means i have to be happy, y dun she sell her daughter? i mean, its not that serious but i was really upset! why cant anyone understand me? Of coz i noe dennis wants to give me the best things, but, cant they see?!!! i dun wan everything to be paid by him. i said that n he jokingly answer, "yah, besides transport fee" Its a joke, yah, but to me, i tk it personally. i mean, i damn well get a part time if i wanna get all this materialistic things, not dennis taking care of everything. from undergarments to phone??? i noe he means well but i just felt abit like a kept women. i dun think normal ppl see in that way, but i think its got to do with the pride or something. i just dun wan things that way. And somehow, i feel as thou emily betrayed me or something. she noes abt this things but she dun say! i told dennis that. but he say emily got tell him i wun accept such an expensive phone. but he still bought it aniwae. he wants me to have something interesting to use n also be able to contact me. so he went with his uncle n got a dunnoe company plan something that was quite cheap. i know.he wants to tk care of things for me, wants to give me things i need, all these i know. and i know i hurt him when i din like the phone. but, i dunnoe, i just dun wan to depend on him for everything. I shld be the one tking care of all these things myself. it just dun seem right to me. maybe to my mum n sis, but no, not me. I am trying to be independant, i wanna do things myself. so i am damn well gonna look for a part time job! I feel guilty that i upset dennis, but i just felt that, he cant tk care of everything for me. i noe, its wat alot of ppl ask for, but i just feel, its not worth it. not worth doing so much. and, the tot of the family noeing everything abt me, i dun have this, i dun have that, even undergarment he is buying for me, i dunnoe how to face the ppl. its as thou, they noe how pathetic i am. everytime dennis shops for something, some ppl will noe. i dun need them to know how pathetic i am. certain things i feel, mite be wat i need, but not wat i want. really sorry dennis. that i am just so hard to please... rose |
2 rose(s) on your door |
Cookiesâ„Life " Just living isn't enough", said the butterfly, "one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson " December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 June 2006 July 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 February 2009 April 2009 August 2009 September 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 July 2010 January 2011 Designer : Chili. x o x o |