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Monday, December 20, 2004
Dun really noe what to say, on my way back home, i tot abt alot of things... i dunnoe why i just leave like that. n only after leaving that i realise what i have done. really selfish of me, was only thinking abt myself. shit, feel really lousy. but a part of me noe that i am doing the rite thing, but a part of me just dun feel rite. like, hmmm, ahhhh, dunnoe lah. now i think abt it, i really dunnoe wat also. And partly i was moody, was coz of the treatment i got the whole day in sch. i dun get ppl. they can just casually, so matter-of-factly say things!!!!! i dun mind rumour or watever shit, but remarks just say like that, when i think abt it, i get unhappy. And even my own friend, one i consider shld noe me better, actually say a joke, which i noe he means it. And thou say it like a joke, is what he means. and going to the class, i feel so sandwiched, i just wanna sink into my chair or go somewhere. i wanted to be alone. its not i dun wanna tok to anyone, but there is only one of me, and if the 2 guys is not going tok to each other, whoever i tok to will get the other left out. i understand hz mite be unhappy with Saf, coz of the joke thingy, but, i dunnoe. its really hard to split. v v hard. that i just wanna sink into my chair. n no one understands, no one. they just think that i am unhappy becoz of some stuff. its more then that, i hate that type of feeling. like, u go out with ur sister n bf, then they dun tok, n it feels funny to tok to anyone of em. like, arg, i hate that type. like, v... argh. i dunnoe how to say. but i cant blame anyone lah, the joke die but raudha bring it up n hz got irritated, then Saf thinks i dun wanna tok to him, so basically, its like a cycle. -_-" its ok, i'll just like go to class late or something, late n find a seat elsewhere next time, or go v early so all of us can sit together n dun need to feel that anyone if left out. thats it, this or that. i'm messed up. i noe. but now i feel better, coz i am not thinking so much. actually, i dun even noe why i think so much, its just like, i just cant dun think loh. am i like over-thinking abt things? actually, i think i am really lucky in a way. some ppl dun even get to be troubled over such things, haha~ i dunnoe, is that gd or bad. i dun even noe wat to think now. think i'll give my mind a rest for now. after toking, i feel better already. :) so i dun wanna get bothered by things already. For suckers out there: Give me a break... i need to breathe too. rose |
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Cookiesâ„Life " Just living isn't enough", said the butterfly, "one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson " December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 June 2006 July 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 February 2009 April 2009 August 2009 September 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 July 2010 January 2011 Designer : Chili. x o x o |