Life

so outdated my blog!

2011-01-18T09:11:00.002+08:00

hahaha my blog is so outdated n i doubt anyone is reading but for the purpose of recording i need to write this down.

When i was in Milan, everyone arranged to meet at 2pm to go out for lunch. so at 2 i went down n i realised i forgot my gloves. When i went back to retrieve em, the GS was in my room!!!

It scare the shit out of me! n i was shocked that he manage to get into my room. coz i slot in the card in the room so no cleaners can get in, meaning only management staff can get in. He explained n everything but it still feels dodgy.

His explanation: he said he called a few times but there was no answer. (of coz la! meeting downstairs wat?!) then the manager saw him knocking n offered to open the door in case i fainted inside or some shit. then they check his ID, etc. they went in tog n tot i was sleeping coz i stacked the pillows under the blanket. Just then they heard my voice from the lift n he told the manager thats me. (i dun remember seeing anyone actually) he decided to play a prank on me to scare me. I was too shocked to react but i must say i was quite disturbed n paranoid after i was in my room that night.

I decided to tell the LSS n seek her advise. she called the guy n in the end we concluded the guy is harmless. (Actually i still not convinced n still puzzled by his actions. but i dun wanna make it big coz if he is really just playful i can cost him his job.)

I dunno if i did the right thing by being quiet... Coz the moment he save me in my room he say he wanted to get the wifi code, but when the LSS spoke to him he say actaully he wanted to tell me he is not going w us for lunch already. but in the end just go coz he is all dressed up anyways.

What do u all think? :( mark keep asking me to report him...

SooOo Bored

2010-07-04T10:41:00.001+08:00

Oh my tian. I m bored beyond words. Every day i got nothing to do i just slp n slp. I probably hit my slp quota. Coz I cannot slp anymore.

N thinking abt getting the report is probably bad for my bp. I really pray that it's a gd one.

Turns out that Mark's mum know who she is. Coz they r both in this 'heart' profession. The cardiologist is her staff's mother in law n they agree w me she is a v stern woman. Oh man, I hope she dun ruin my chances. Really.

My life is in her hands. N please make my 500 bucks worthwhile.

Since I cannot slp anymore wat shld I do. So broke also. Zzzzz. The medical bill has bankrupt me for e month.

Edit

2010-04-18T18:16:00.001+08:00

Not like I dun enjoy meetin my friends.. Just that I dun get enuff time w my own bf!!!

What I want and what I get

2010-04-18T18:14:00.001+08:00

It's strange how ppl is always asking me out, EXCEPT my own bf. I always have outings but I want to have more time w my bf too.

Timing is slightly better now but still...

N it's as thou I am so needy when all I want is meet twice a wk. But it's so hard. When I m free he is not, vice verse.

We really do not have much fate tog. For years we didn't even bump into each other on the streets. After getting tog it's like this too. Unless it's arranged. So I guess it's a really rare thing that we r tog?

Hope we will have more time then.

Dunno y..

2010-04-16T13:33:00.001+08:00

But I' be been feeling v suppressed lately. When will this feeling go away. Am losing slp again. How?

Gonna stay in my job. They give me a gf offer. But on e other end I really need a break...

Shld learn to get happy again, n not relay on other ppl.

Being unhappy

2010-04-11T13:53:00.001+08:00

I am actually typin out this blog e my iPhone now. Dunno y I got a new phone but I am just not happy. Think the tryin to learn how to use the phone part always gets me v frustrated. Freaking hell I am an apple idiot. O dun even noe how to transfer music!

Anyways just went to the Chinese doc downstairs w my mum. The doc say my stmach problem is a result of stress as well. Den my mum say I give myself alot of stress at work. Well but actually these days I am not stress atwork.. More like stress abt money and findin work.

Mum says I've changed. V bad tempered n impatient. But actually suntimes is when i cone Hm n c how messy the Hse us, I get v irritated. But honestly I do feel v supressed. So frustrated and trapped sometimes I feel like I really really need a break...

Memorable CNY~

2010-02-18T10:01:00.003+08:00

This is a short working week. heh heh, its already Thursday.

I actually intended to blog everyday, so I can read back and noe what I've been up to, but ah, its hard. My CafeWorld obsessison doesnt allow that. hee.

So far my week:

15th Feb --- I went over to Marky's place and had lunch with his god sisters and family. (I cant really remember what we did other than that, haha~ how did the time pass so fast eh. ) Then we surf random website that features weird inventions.At nite we went over to his student place for dinner. This is the memorable part. On the way, we met with a small car accident. The cab we were in crashed into another car that was turning out. But its totally the other driver's fault. She just gotten her licence apparently. poor thing, i dun think her dad's gonna let her drive anytime soon. So, some blue blacks r decorating my left knee and right leg. ZZZzz when the bruises from training just disappeared, I get new ones. Marky sorta shield my upper body, so my face is still as gorgeous as ever. haha~

BUT main point here is, PLEASE BUCKLE UP AT ALL TIMES. This is sumthing v impt. Coz even if u drive super careful, even if u obey all the rules, accidents can happen becoz of some other drivers on the road. So dear friends, please be v careful when u're driving ya?

16th Feb --- Marky and I turn into his farm pets, Yabbies. We basically didnt move much coz the weather was so hot. heh. And he made Brunch for me, soba noodles w yabby sashimi. So cruel to kill them, but, they were really fresh I muz say. -_-" he saved the 4 biggers ones and the rest was served during his reunion dinner. I went hm to watch "Lightning theif" w hendrix, emily and ken. Not v gd lie, can be better lo. I like all this stories about gods and stuff, but they rushed thru the show abit too much so the climax was not really there?

17th Feb --- Went shopping w Marky after work. Impromptu meetup which is nice, He got the week off so we have more time tog. Ran into Amanda. Again. haha~ so qiao ah, I think at least once a month I will run into her. heh. This month is the second time thou. this sat probably seeing her again. heh~

Anyways, boss just walk in. byeeeeeeeee~~~

2004???

2010-02-14T17:22:00.002+08:00

Oh ya, I was just browsing abit and I saw my 2004 posts. wah lau, the me 6 years ago was so emo n ungrateful man. I saw how I grumble abt Dennis's gift. he's such a sweet boy la. I wish him all the best in finding a girl that truly worthy of him.

I'm glad I grew up.

So,

Dear friends + love ones, please forgive my ignorant past. I am so sorry for watever hurt or sadness I've caused. Lets build a better future tog ya?

Enjoy the holidays!

CNY + V-day 2010

2010-02-14T16:42:00.004+08:00

So I am alone at home now resting, while my mum's playin majong at my grandpa's place. Becoz its been less than 100 days after gp's passing, we r not allow to "celebrate" new yr. So, no ang pows for me. sob. thats one of the biggest highlight for CNY. not even my mum gave me, my dad gave us thou. Since he is not directly related to my gp.

As usual, we'll eat vegetarian lunch then gamble abit. I only noe how to play black jack, n being stingy like a true Hakka, I bet 1 buck each time. I still lose 9 bucks. sian. haha~ my poor bro, he was the broker and he lose 50 bucks. i hope he wins it back by now, since he is like so broke. tsk tsk. well, it was quite fun la, but gets boring after awhile. And I am not daring enuff to be the broker. -_-

SoOoo, I finally completed one week of BFC trainin. Basic Facilitator Course 15. U guys can see from fb the many activities we've done. it was fun n tiring. I had a lot of fun, but I am glad its over. 3 days 4 nite in bintan is too long for me. Guess I'm not as independent as I tot. Coz when I was in Melbourne, I wanted to go hm too. haha~ but when I'm back hm, its so crowded and noisy sometimes. I get no peace at all. Humans, we r nv satisfy. haha.

After that week of training, I am black as charcoal now. Not as bad as alot of other ppl, but when I look at my hands, it reminds me of a construction worker. ZZZzz. We did so many things that I will nv, ever tot of doing in my life. Climbing up a 25m tower w 14 obstacles den finally to get down, a 200m flying fox. It took all of us 6 hrs but heck, we all did it so it was gd enuff. After climbing up, the flying fox which scare the shit out of me initially seems like nothing. But I was still scared la. screamed like a butchered sheep when I had to go down. haha~

Then, there was rafting. I tot, wow, that shld be quite fun. guess wat? we built the raft w tyres, ropes and 2 metal rod. haha~ and it didnt go far at all in that choppy water. Made lots of new friends. v interesting funny ppl too. All the madness bonded us in that 5 days of training. Some r Singaporeans so we'll probably catch up someday. Anther thing I realized was how ignorant and small my world is.

I mean, I realized that when I was w mark. Since alot of things they tok abt I didnt noe. Of coz, I bet alot of things I noe, they wun noe. I'm just a happy selective nerd. I like knowing all this, but I just dun really read up n all + sumtimes this kinda books bores me the moment I start reading. V selective memory so I cant register. I just enjoy hearing the interesting bits from ppl. And I guess w Saf, he pampers me so much and being so nerdish n all, we tok abt nerd otaku stuff. And he basically let me do anything I want. like just watching things I like, animation etc. not v healthy eh, haha~ coz other things, I didnt think it is necessary? Coz, I am happy wat. But now i feel so ignorant. *sigh* Growing up is tough.

I'm happy thou. New yr, new job, new beginning. Marky n me is getting better too. Now, I just need to be abit more productive and less lazy! I've allowed the society to taint me too much so I'm gonna clear up my aura~ need to earn more too! yes!

Anyways ppl, Happy CNY and V-Day!!! 2010 will be a great yr for all of us!!!! Gambate!!!!!!!

Jiatang~!~!~!~ meetup soon~!~!~!~!~!~!~ :DDDDDDD Our sex no city? only watch til season 2. haha~

Triple Joy Friday

2010-02-05T10:59:00.004+08:00

Obviously, the first joy.

ITS FRIDAY!!!! And I loveeeeee Fridays. Long weekend! yes! And its sorta my dating day, since I can stay out later.

Secondly, I got paid today. Wheee~~~~~ money come money go. but at least I feel better with some cash in my wallet. Isnt that the main driving force for all of us thats working? At least w the money I have I can celebrate. heh heh~ Give myself a treat.

Thirdly, I am gonna tender my resignation today. After almost 4 yrs in the company. It is finally time to move on. Happy, relief, scared and hopeful. Design didnt really work out as a career, I think I'll need time to just find that "lost" part if me as well. So for now, I'm gonna concentrate on prospect and building a future for myself. Design, hopefully will continue as a part time thingy.

So because of my sudden job training next week, I had asked JT to postpone the pedi&mani treat that she was giving me for my birthday. Its gonna be quite "sport-ish" so I think that will be a waste on the pedi&medi. When I finally have the chance to do the full package, I intend to treasure it and keep it for awhile. haha~

So, lotsa things to be happy abt la. Gotta make sarcrifices to my time coz its abit last min. But i think its worth it since its for my future! And tml morning I get Long John Brekkie. got the voucher too. Yes yes, I am so auntie and cheap but like the sports store says "Why pay more?" hee hee.

Sunday I will need time to pack and sort certain things out. so I cant join the monthly adventure outing. Probably have to do some cleaning up too since next week I got no time at all and CNY is next wkend! I cant celebrate but still need to clean up la. plus I'll need to buy some stuff for next wk as well.

Monday training starts. Tues I will be in Bintan til Fri. Exciting~ busy busy busy.

but its happy busy busy busy! :D

YEAH!!!!! :D

2010-02-01T12:04:00.006+08:00

I finally found a blogskin I like! been looking for something simple so this is by far, my favourite skin~~ Give me "A" for effort, I even changed the picture lei~ with my limited html knowledge. heh heh~and I'm so bored in the office, since I am done w the floorplan for the time being. I decided to use some time to cheer myself up. Becoz I dun wanna work. haha!

Jobhunting is tiring. Seem like the jobs I like does not really pay well.
And design, I've decided its not the way to go, but now I am wondering, am I just running away from design coz I feel like I've lost touch w it?

So how is ya wkend? Mine, I got to spend some time w Marky. Thou the interview on Saturday basically got him waiting for me for 3hrs. ZZZzzz. then My sunday is spent sleeping and sleeping~!~!~!~ so shiok~ and i finally watch "Stitch the movie" w Rachel. not as good as the first and the third, but I think passable for a kid's show? Stitch is forever so cute.

oh ya, one of the DVD i rented from the shop is actually pirated. $#%@#$%$# WTH? I spend money to get lousy DVD? I wanted to exchange it yest but the shop was closed. I'm gonna try again today. If they dun let me exchange or refund, I'll bitchfit and fight for my consumer right. haha~

oh ya, I love the sparkles that follows my mouse. hahahaha~

READ this~!~!

2010-01-24T10:40:00.001+08:00

http://borntobeyourtaoeh.blogspot.com/

ok, i found this blog, and its really really hilarious. go read it. haha~

my poor blog.

2010-01-23T13:28:00.002+08:00

ok so, I realise how unhappy my poor blog is, so I gonna like, not make it such a depressing one. haha~ its like only when i am upset, i blog. so its concentrated w dark evil aura that I am gonna chase away.

First.

A cheerful blogskin will help.

but that is so time consuming la... n my html is like crap. it tks hrs just to find one i like. I really really need to find my design sense back, thou I've decided it will probably not be the career path for me, but i wanna do it in my spare time n all. when i grow old, i can open a art n craft sch for kids. hee~

Second.

A cheerful me.

THAT I think is coming soon. Last yr sorta makes me an emotional retard but I think I will be able to be abit more positive, first step is changing job. which is in the process too. :D sucky job, underpaid makes me kinda depressed. bleh.

Third.

I'm not sure. haha~ coz the first 2 is all i came up w at the moment. well, I need to sit down n think la.

Blogskin hunting, GO!

2009, why wont u leave me alone.

2010-01-01T01:22:00.002+08:00

even til the last sec, u had to make me miserable dun u?

the last hr of christmas eve was spent folding offerings at my grandpa's funeral.

the last hr of new year eve was spent waiting at a bus stop for a pathethic confirmation.

Why? coz of some stupid miscom.

I waited and waited. I felt like crying, coz 00:00 was coming. Not like i am so date conscious, but I hate that feeling. u keep thinking, maybe the call will come b4 new yr. maybe. and then u hear ppl shouting happily, sounds of firework from afar. then me, staring at my phone thinking, that person is happily counting down somewhere. see how pathethic that sounds?

Its not a MUST to meet. but a confirmation wld be nice.

I would rather be at hm watching the painful channel 5 countdown, den sitting at a bus stop feeling sorry for myself.

The call eventually came, but he got as pissed as me.

Men. y cant they tell when u r hurting?

I just wanna breakaway.

2009 coming to an end.

2009-12-01T21:17:00.008+08:00

Cant wait. Wohoo~
Let's hope next yr is MUCH better than this yr.

Some things I cannot say, some pain I cannot feel, some tears I cannot shed.
Many wld think I am referring to the breakup, but its not just that.
I went thru other stuff as well.
But I guess the breakup got me real realistic and passive these days.

Trying not to cry and being unable to cry is really really different.
U feel no pain, u feel no joy.
I seriously noe what it means.
BUT, i cannot help being suppress about certain things.

Of coz its not that I am unhappy now.
I am quite happy, but I noe things will haunt me at unexpected times, trigger by random things and I will be caught off guard by the moment.

So, after this yr, I hope all this suppress emotions and bad luck will go away for gd.
Cant wait cant wait~!~!~

And pay day is coming!! faster faster~
Did I mention this is my "poorest" yr?
Doctors been earning from me man.
But at least I went to Melb and got to c giraffe upclose I guess.

Hope there is decent bonus.
Wanna
1) Return Emily money
2) Get new clothes
3) Get Track shoes

And maybe, treat myself to a pedicure.
ZZzzzzZZzzz.

I will change my job DEFINITELY. Waiting for the bonus~!~!~!~
And if my new job doesnt pay well enuff, I am gonna get a part time.

Thats my master plan for 2010.

Almost gotten another blog skin...

2009-09-29T22:33:00.008+08:00

Well, Selina sent me one, and it looks really cute BUT, need to upload image all this so... being slow in this kinda thing, i decided to abandon the ideal..haha~ but i wanna get anther one? this one doesnt allow comments n all, so it'll be nice to have a proper one...

Down with gastric flu so the doc gave me MC for tml... I am using up my MC for this yr. -_-" Coz last friday when I had diarrhoea, I felt kinda funny after I ate the med so I stopped. I guess it drag on til now? Sunday got abit better but apparently I am running a fever now, sooooooo, if there is MC, why not? haha. I just feel kinda bad coz without my leader ard, I need to be ard. And being the "shit job" team, we always get last min urgent thingy. Plus, Thursday I am on leave. In conclusion, i foresee my boss getting heart attacks. But I am prepared to go back la, if needed. See? So nice of me, shld pay me more. haha~

I am so bored now. Tired but the refusal to sleep is coming back. My sleepless nights has once again creep on me. hai. And sumtimes I just like, think too much abt stuff that has happen during the past few months (+ sianness from job) and it makes me kinda unhappy actually.

Mark says it quarter life crisis.

I personally feel, I am not the one with the crisis. Its more like, I get crap or see stuff from ppl going thru em? Are they really going thru it or are they just unhappy and wanna find a reason to justify their meanness. Whatever, really. Just remember, watever u do, at the end of day, u answer for ur own actions.

Oh well, really saddening to see "ugly" things unfolding but thats part of life I guess.

This is the yr of awakening. haha~ I think i am just abit cynical these days. damn!

On a side note, my room is getting cleaner n neater. So is my hse, but lots more work is needed since everyone treat Emily n me like the maid and doesn't help AT ALL. But rite now, I feel that it doesnt matter how small the place is, as long as its clean and comfy. Yes, its abit cramp, no privacy watsoever, but at the very least, it no longer spoils my moodwhen I step into the hse? At least there is a place for me to back to at the end of the day? Some ppl dun even have a roof over their head so I shld be grateful. And proud of the fact that my sis and I are sort of the "breadwinner" of the hse ever since we started working.

Thou we are in debts right now.
Thou we cant afford to let my mum retire.
Thou we dun have enuff money to send Rachel to acquire some skills.
Thou we dun have extra cash to splurge on clothes and stuff.

wahahahahah~ The list goes on but at least we r trying...haha. must try harder....

For now, just wanna earn more money. :D

Recently...

2009-09-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

Recently theres been more upz n downz, here and there, there is this and that.

I'm kinda sick of all this, really.

Like how I see ungrateful/unappreciative ppl ard.

Ppl changing.

Friends, colleagues, family.

It makes me wanna run away.

Bleh.

My almost nonexistent blog

2009-08-28T09:58:00.002+08:00

Poor blog... i dun even remember how it looks like, but i decided to pop here for awhile. Blog is basically forgotten for me, i didnt even noe ppl still really use it. since ya noe, theres so much other stuff like fb and all, that allows everyone to get connected. Fb is great and evil at the same time. Constantly u noe what ur friends r up to, but at the same time, u c certain things that u rather not see. it can get abit too much sumtimes...watever, i still like fb, i'm addicted. Used to be cuteoverload but now the first page i see, is fb. heh.

Well, I've been doing my best to live my life. Just running and running, hoping to burst through all the ugly things but somehow i think i got trap. Its like I'm a caterpillar that is too eager to transform into a butterfly. In my hurry, I emerge out looking like one but is unable to fly. Something like that. I'm still working on making myself stronger... coz i realised I'm quite damaged... even with everything said and done, I am picking myself up... I didnt noe it affected me so much, but I'm gonna try to get "me" back again. Ppl tell me I m strong, its not 100% true but I will work on it.

I dunno "me" anymore, or wat I wan. haha~ all I noe is I wanna earn more so I can relieve the financial burden at hm, and invest abit more in Rachel's future. At first it was, Live for the Moment. Now, I am not so sure anymore. Its like sumthing is eating me from inside all this while and I only realise it now. Its bascially killing me, this boring and down "me". Really, shld had given myself time to grieve and not suppressed it. but if i have to go back in time, i think the way i deal with it will probably be the same...haha.

Most ppl shld noe by now I am seeing this other guy. He's great and all. but i wish I am not so down and boring? Bleh. I bored myself sometimes, poor him. I wonder how long he can stand me..haha.

Wish me Luck ppl, I am on my journey to becoming someone stronger and better.

another rainy day..

2009-04-12T16:18:00.004+08:00

Well, after my very upset n emo episode yesterday,
today i feel much more normal.
I shld just let it go and not be so hard on him or myself. heh~
The more we "talk", the worse it gets.
So, maybe its just not meant to be.
After 50 months, things has ended.
Wow, its really quite long.

Basically, I think life has to go on?
So...yeah, like the song says" let it be..Let it be~!"
I will just lead my life and not waste time
dwelling on things that has happened.
Better not to think about it. haha~

And I've decided not to change my blog,
maybe encrypt it with password,
but nah, dun think i am gonna change.
Its been my venting area for so long, i'll just keep it.

Heard from my aunt that my cousin's colleague had
a litter of puppies and is unable to keep it.
Warned by the authorities since she already has a few dogs.
She asked me but my mum is not keen.
(When she doesnt have to do anything)
And emily probably wun mind getting one since it'll make me happy. haha~

but i swear not to have dogs anymore coz
I didnt tk care of em well last time.
And of coz, because of him, I was willing to not have em or u noe,
give up the tot of even touching dogs if we were to get married.

Soooo now, I actually get to consider...
hmmmm, but having pets is so much responsibilities eh?
Emily n me was actually thinking maybe
it will help Rachel psychologically?
Since she's having problems at sch and all.
oh wellz....c how la.
Can adopt one if I really want to.

Been a long n tiring day.
Shall go rest my 80 yr old body.

I m wondering..

2009-04-11T23:29:00.004+08:00

How did things get so bad?

What is going on?

Everything is so messed up...

I just dun wanna remember anything now....
coz all thats running thru my head, is the hurtful thing you've said....

arg, what shld i do, where do i go?
i feel so much worse than i did 5 days ago.

this, maybe really is karma.

All i wanna do now..

2009-04-11T17:47:00.001+08:00

..is to crawl to a corner n cry...

i feel so stupid...

And it hurts so much..

How cld I have loved him so much?

Sucking it in...

2009-04-08T18:18:00.003+08:00

Well, today i feel v different from how i feel yesterday...
Like what my friends say, after the shock and anger, comes the pain.
And it is starting to sting inside.
But, I am sucking it all in.

I realised that yeah, i hope next time I see him we can still at least say Hi and Bye.
I dun wanna have bitterness or hatred.
Just, let time heal everything I guess.
For now, I shall just suck it all in and hope for some peace and quiet.

This will probably be my last post...at least..thats wat i feel now..

Random tots of how i feel now.

2009-04-07T10:58:00.003+08:00

Remember the very nice ally mcbeal song? It started popping into my heart a few days ago, and yesterday it just kept on playing.

Baby, Don't You Break My Heart Slow

I like the way you wanted me

Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

(chorus)

But Id rather you be mean than love and lie
Id rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
Id rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby dont you break my heart slow

I like the way youd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way youd say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

(chorus)

Well Id rather you be mean than love and lie
Id rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
Id rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby dont you break my heart slow

(bridge)
Youe would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that were together
I wanted our love to last forever

(chorus)

Well Id rather you be mean than love and lie
Id rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
Id rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby dont you break my heart slow

(chorus)

So true isnt it the lyrics? I think it applies to alot of ppl, maybe except those that covers their ears n eyes then shout, "NOOOOO!" when the truth is slapping them in the face? But its a gd song.

Well, i am having alot of random tots here n there. And i was sorting thru my harddisk stuff when i saw the pictures. bleh, the last thing u wanna be is get reminded.
I cant help but feel I was there to be with him thru the rough patches of his life, and when he got to where he wants, i was ditched aside to make room for other things.
I noe, it sounds bitter and probably not 100% true, but i cant helped but feel like this... well, i need time since I am sorta shutting myself off for now. And alot of things i think time is needed so u can see things in a clear perspective.

Thank you girls n friends who sensed something and rush to comfort me.
I appreciate it.

Ta-daaaaa!

2009-02-12T22:13:00.003+08:00

Abang!!! see??!!! i am champion of the game!!!

Well, saf introduce me to a game online, its where u piece tog random sentences w the themes n everyone will vote.

http://www.kongregate.com/games/CasualCollective/farragomate

try it out~

New blog skin

2009-02-11T22:49:00.001+08:00

Well, decide to get a new blog design, took away the cbox too, seems like my blog has advert n stuff, so, hopfully after changing it, the problem will go away. screw u bugs on the internet! dun u have something else to do then spam ppl w ads n all!!!!!

choosing a skin is tiring, i shall slp now. hehe! nite ppl~ i will try to update more so mr wan in melb can see. heh. try la, try. nite~

Love Story - Taylor Swift

2009-02-03T23:21:00.000+08:00

we were both young when i first saw you
i close my eyes
and the flashback starts
im standing there
on a balcony of summer air

see the lights,
see the party the ball gowns
i see you make your way through the crowd
you say hello
little did i know

that you were romeo you were throwing pebbles
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
and i was crying on the staircase
begging you please don’t go, and i said

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
i’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
you’ll be the prince and i’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

so i sneak out to the garden to see you
we keep quiet because we’re dead if they know
so close your eyes
lets keep this down for a little while
cause you were romeo i was a scarlet letter
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
but you were everything to me
and i was begging you please don’t go and i said

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
i’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
you be the prince and i’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

romeo save me, don’t try to tell me how it feels
this love is difficult, but its so real
don’t be afraid we’ll make it out of this mess
its a love story baby just say yes,

Oh, oh

I got tired of waiting
wondering if you were ever coming around
my faith in you was fading
when i met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

romeo save me i’ve been feeling so alone
i keep waiting for you but you never come
is this in my head, i don’t know what to think
he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

marry me juliet you’ll never have to be alone
i love you and thats all I really know
i talked to your dad you’ll pick out the white dress
its a love story baby just say yes
oh, oh, yes
we were still young when i first saw you

WAHHHHHH!!!!!!

2008-10-28T20:15:00.002+08:00

Look at this necklance! I saw it on amazon.

SOooooOOOOO nice...SOOooooo goth...Sooooo vampire-ish.

I LOVE IT!!!!!!

BUT its so expensive!!!!! Not inclusive of shipping its US $50!

Soooooo, if anyone see something similar but cheaper, let me know!

Ageing!!!!

2008-09-28T20:21:00.002+08:00

Well well, my long forgotten blog. heh heh...

Just not been surfing net much... mostly is manga~ opps, my latest obesssion...

Maybe thats y my eye sight is gettin worse at lightning speed n the "twinkle" in my eyes r gone.
I was cleansing my face when I saw wat the world's greatest force aka gravity is doing to my eyes.
ZZZZZzz i think i really will buy collagen to eat... n really, more veggie..i increase my fruit intake but i think still not healthy enuff. N exercise....need to bust those annoying cellulite and yes, skinny ppl have cellulite too. We are not immortal u noe? Someone actually say, "u have cellulite meh??!?!" of coz la. -_- skinny, slim or fat, every1 got their problem.

however, I wish I was immortal thou. Maybe can be like a carpathian species.
I will "automatically be beautiful n sexy, oozing with charm n elegance~
I am like....90% there. hahahah!
But rite now i just gotta settle on my mortal body type n exercise more!!!!
N i am determined to be hotter as my age goes coz Mr Safuan Tay is worried. rite baby? -_- wahahaha~

24 in a few months. oh my god. and i am still getting nowhere~!!!!!!!

why??!! why?!?!?!

end of yr coming! bonus plz come! increment plz come!

Have to plan for next yr, but thats wat i say last yr, and nothing changed. I look at my list of things for 2008 and hmmm, I manage to do a few things. few things as in 3 out of...dunno how many. wahahah~ oh wellz.....

ZZzzz

2008-07-22T22:02:00.002+08:00

been ages since i blog. dun use com much.

work's been crazy.

life's been different.

need to get used to things.

start planning seriously for myself.

hmmm....

if u think for ppl, doesnt mean they think for u?

or like more understanding? coz from wat they read from the outside, u r just a emo-crazy for no reason person?

oh well, then i can be like the joker, psychotic but so carefree.

ZZzzzz..maybe i am like, half way there. haha~

hai~ just dun noe wat to think now. ZZzzzz.

OneRepublic - Say (All I Need)

2008-04-30T08:47:00.000+08:00

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

freaking pissed

2008-04-28T20:39:00.002+08:00

freaking irritated, freaking stressed.

dun get it y ppl can be so irresponsible...

pissed me off.

watever.

if u push me too far i will just resort to extreme measures and when i do, u cant do anything abt it.

i just wanna escape.

need my own space and my own life.

money..need more money too.

need to feed family and when my bro is out, he needs to study.

money money money.

time time time.

freedom freedom freedom.

bloody shit.

random pic 2!

2008-04-17T21:15:00.004+08:00

ok, v random pics. my picture r scattered everywhere..and alot of pics r gone coz my old com crush. hai~ like old one all cant find. zzZzzz.

shld update...

2008-04-17T08:39:00.004+08:00

been a long long long time since i update. haha~ i just, not in the internet surfing phase i guess. it rotates and so far, its not there yet.

feel like reading comics and books so i am just rereading my old comics again n again. wah, makes my money worth it.

anyways, not much to say. haha~ maybe i'll just post some random pics from the office since i am typin from the office now.

Ta-Da~!

As said, VERY VERY random pics. My office ppl r quite cam whore-ish so whenever there is a chance, there will be Picture!

More pics of my family and love of my life will be posted when i am hm~ heh heh heh...

Chinese New Year~

2008-02-04T08:52:00.000+08:00

New year is coming!!! and thou with every passing yr it gets less and less festive-ish, i feel that as u grow up u will appreciate it more. Its a gd time to see relatives once a yr, do spring cleaning and eat new yr snacks. not to forget the ang baos. one of thr greatest invention after the internet. wahahahaha~ rite..

So....Happy chinese new yr ppl!

Girlies

2008-01-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

i did this last yr, but i wasn't able to post it somehow, then now i see it again. just wanted to test out some stuff. haha. just some cheap effects, dun be too picky!

All my loving

2008-01-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you;
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

I'll pretend That I'm kissing
the lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

All my loving I will send to you.
All my loving, darling I'll be true.

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you:
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you

All my loving I will send to you.
All my loving darling I'll be True.
All my loving All my loving ooh
All my loving I will send to you

my current fav...

outings

2007-12-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

ok, this has been on my mind since quite long ago, but i nv blog it out coz i dun wan ppl getting the wrong ideal. but i am gonna blog it now coz i was thinkin abt it on the bus n i am damn sian by it lo.

I realised i am not the kind of friend who can commit alot. i mean, i know it but i nv say it out loud. I dun have the time to commit. i dun even dare ask ppl out coz i know i cant always go out w em. I know ppl will think, really so HARD MEH? yah, its quite hard. I have a niece i need to tk care of, and my niece is there FOREVER until the day she grows up and no longer need an adult supervising her, til then, i cant just dun care. She is there everyday, emily n me have to tk turns to go out just so that we make sure someone is taking care of her. u think wat, 1 day tk care n the rest of my life i am free? and on weekends i have to rotate with emily coz desrina can only tk one weekend off. and if its not the sch holidays, there is hw and spelling to teach. just my niece is enuff of a family commitment already. then i dun need to rest? housework? ot? i am not grumbling but i think some ppl dun understand lo. frustrating.

I have ppl telling me that I am always not joining them, not going out with them for outings n all, from friends to colleagues. practically everyone. i dun think anyone really understand. I try my best to balance out the number of outings with friends and it ends up that everyone finds it not enuff. the friends i meet the most often is the gers, coz they r the onez that will ask me out but not nag at me for not joining them on other outings. and they dun force me to meet them either. i guess maybe i still dun meet them as often as they wld like, but they r considered the friends i spend the most time with. and they make me glad to have them ard.

and then i have a bf, is it alot to ask to meet ur bf twice a week? i dun think so rite? in fact i think it is the rite amt lo. i am happy that we have found this balance of just meeting when we feel like, and no, not like wat everyone think, i dun meet him everyday.

i noe saying all this is like i am self centered but i feel like i am gonna choke on all this frustration if i dun say it out now. like i think abt my poly mates, EVERY outing they will say i always dun meet them, and the last time we meet,purposely drop obvious hints say must have the next outing. DUN make me promise something that i cant promise. i feel its like so deliberate and forced that i am so unhappy when i left. i am not the kind can meet all the time, i dun understand why must deliberately wan me to be there, if wanna meet so much, can always go ahead then ask if i wanna come along. isnt that wat ppl do? why must like, so gu yi one lo. u noe i am like this but must purposely make me feel even more shitty?

does ppl think i like to get comments like, aiyah u always dun come, always meet ur bf la, so busy meh, etc. does anyone truly believes that by saying all that it will make me feel good and wanna meet more? i will if i can wat, why cant ppl believe? u think i like hearing all this n getting frustrated and irritated?

if i didn't try, i think i deserved it. but if i make time n still get shit, then i think wth lo. u think i find it fun to rush hm on christmas eve coz the childcare closes at 2pm? u think i find it really heart warming that all other young ppl gets to hang out with friends n bfs and i get to rush hm? THINK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am not targeting anyone now, but recently, really alot of ppl telling me all this. and got other factors la, like i will think how come i dun have as much freedom as other ppl all this. i wanna be free too. but i cant. and recalling all the comments, not a v nice feeling lo. cannot tahan anymore, i dun need ppl telling me things that make me feels even worse..

then when ppl tok abt going abroad tog, i cant say much, coz i cant. no money. and i think my mum will feel abit wat la, like i go holiday when her wish is whole family go overseas. she didn;t wanna follow me to thailand is when she found out i am going to the beach and the ntuc was breathing down her throat. and i can bring my mum along la, but that is if i save up til i can pay for her as well lo, savy? its not as easy as it sounds. even 100 dollars is like a tyre now. can use it for new yr stuff. aiyah, watever la. i think the more i say, the harder it becomes to understand what i am trying to sa. i just neet to whine and let out all these frustration la, maybe pms too. i am gonna sleep now.

So many good movies!!!!!!1

2007-12-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

so so many good movies out now..wahhhhhh!!!!! cant wait to watch em out. now b'wan n me is just waiting n waiting for the Alvin n the chipmunks to be out.

just watch golden compass..wah..so nice the effect. if i have to be in the film industry again, i dun mind just being a runner for the show. wahhhh!!!

feel like watching enchanted again. ALL GIRLS IN THE WORLD SHLD WATCH IT!!!! ANYONE WHO LIKE DISNEY PRINCESS SHLD WATCH!!!!!

ZZZzzzz need more free time, wonder what the shift for the popular bookfair will be like. its like starting this week, didn't even realise its so near, bleh.

hope it wun affect my time too much...need..more..time...

b'wan!

how does she know~~~~~ hee!

tireddddddd

2007-12-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

i am tired...but dun noe shld sleep anot...ZZzzzz recently not sleeping well..everynite been drifting in and out of sleep and i dream everynight. i can remember parts of my dream too. i dream abt random things mixed with things that happened during the day..hmmm..maybe using my brain too much... so maybe i shld try to sleep later..even sleeping later wun really help i think..was really tired last nite but, same thing happen. just hope it goes away fast coz like that quite tiring ah..haha.

using the laptop that kenneth gave to us for free, its really small n cute but..not v powerful. i search online n its like...1.2GHZ or something. i was thinkin, nvm, can still surf net and play game den...the keygen is not compatible with windowsvista!!!!!!!! arg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, tired n whiny..byebye.

goldfishes..

2007-11-13T08:38:00.000+08:00

The gold fishes at my hse r dying..again..-__-" i dun get my mum, u does she keep getting them when she doesn't tk care of em? And she ask my sis to drive her alllll the way to bedok everytime to get it from my aunt. but everytime she is too lazy to change the water. I understand its tiring when she work 12hrs, but few days ago i told her her fish look sick already, on her off day she just top up water in the tank.

!!!!!

makes me quite irritated at times. always will be me lo. i already told her not to get any for like so many times. every yr after most die, she go and get more. finally few months ago they all die, despite my attempt to save them, she went to get new one!!!!! so poor thing the fish!!!!

1 died last nite, the other one dying..got suck at the pump there for god knows how long til i saw it when i got hm. hai.

abang wan u can come my hse tk care of my fishes since they always can survive so long. 0_0 SatayF! hee~

ZZzzz

2007-10-31T21:52:00.000+08:00

hasn't been updating much coz...dun really get the chance to surf net these days. dun really feel like it too. been moodier n work is getting busy again.

hai..not v happy.

moody.

2007-10-12T22:30:00.001+08:00

ok..a v delayed post but...better than nothing la... haha. so heres goes the phuket pics!

this is when we just collected the documents at Chan's.

DAY 1

DAY 2

DAY 3
anyways, this is the island guide. the funny guy who wears 2 life jacket. haha. top n bottom.haha

scenery shot, mostly taken by safuan tay.
monkey beach..feed the monkeys!
then, we saw the mutated monkey!!!
before we leave for another island

our last shot at the resort. wheeeeeee~a v nice place to slack n rest.

the last day waiting at the airport

thats all for now!!!!!!

they say my family member all look alike...

2007-09-29T22:15:00.000+08:00

SOOO SCARY!!!!! courtesy of emily... the proof that she is actually more irritating than me. haha.

Sis's cutie charms!

2007-08-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

All rite ppl, my sis n her friend is doing some cute charms thingy so pls show ur support! thou i can count w my fingers who read my blog. haha!

http://charmlings.blogspot.com

Its all handmade by my sis emily n her friend.

lunch break..

2007-08-22T12:49:00.001+08:00

I ate my sandwich so i am so bored...dun wan my lunch time to just do work..so...here..haha

blahblahblah

2007-08-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

my temper these days is like, so not miss sunshine. i probably will change the blogskin soon to something more readable.

i dunnno how to change t he javascript so i cant make it better too.

hai, dunno, just in a bad mood.

woke up from the wrong side of the bed, the slightest things upsets me.

pi pi piii pi PIIIIII~!

2007-08-07T22:57:00.000+08:00

Next month i am going to Phuket w saf!!!!! whee~~~finally i get to sit on a plane. lalala~

We went to the Chan brother's travel fair n we book on the spot cause its a promotion thats on that day, or else it wun be so cheap anymore. Well, its not cheap actually, from the price stated and after adding tax its like double. but it seems like a pretty gd deal overall so we took it. We cant really afford travelling to other countries, too. But nvm! i feel like going to a relaxing place. So we will wait til we both earn a higher income, got spare cash, den c how. Turkey! Egypt! Europe! I want!!!!

And it was so crowded during the fair n my PMS was super duper bad that day, all i wanna do is bk n go. waited like so long, then keep throwing tantrums. Of coz abang wan kena the most. hai, this month's pms is quite bad. poor saf is top victim followed by nana n ppl at my workplace. -_-"

Yeah! Holiday! Work so sian, i wanna getaway! quote the Zuji Guru "when work gets u down, getaway!" my first time on a plane!

So next aim, hmmm, i think maybe save up to go some nearby places w my family too. My mum really wants to travel w the family badly i think, but no money. We will strike it rich one day and tour la. haha~ lalala~

This Is Sparta

2007-08-05T22:45:00.001+08:00

A video saf and I found. suddenly tot of it and again v entertained. so weird n so funny. haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PkryAlYgIs

SUPRISE!!!

2007-08-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

Suddenly feel like doing some photo thing. heh, but v tired so maybe not so nice! Abang likes dee design?? haha~suprise! hee, been like ten thousands yrs since we tk picture. Dinner at Manhattan~ A very very big spread, v v gd service but food's abit oily. heh. like a critic. ok, gotta slp now. bleh..

Heh..heh..

2007-07-04T22:23:00.000+08:00

I've been promoted! to asst section leader but my job name will be changed to asst producer. heh~they increase my pay by 200 bucks. the amt i said when they asked me what is my ecpected salary. hai~shld have said more hoh? haha~cause ppl getting this kind of pay for so long already. well, better than nothing. So to the gers ãnd wanwan who have always been supporting me to get higher pay, here u go! heh~may i get more n more wages in future.

ok, since i posted some photo in the office. I figure i shld show my desk. Abang wan can know how my working environment is like too?

I took it early in the morning when i was alone in the office. my hse is always messy but i am quite particular when its the "work" area. it makes me uncomfortable n distracted if the table is v messy. I think its a common thing for most ppl? i think...

My corner. My leader sits beside me. I like to bring the cute things i receive as gift to put in the office. House is too messy. Its a waste of their beauty. heh.
things on my desk. Usually some DVDs, stuff and notes.

The cute doggies~ 2 is from a producer called Cindy while i was still an editor. one is i " di gum" at cini w saf. n of coz, Frank. The piggy is actually a piggy bank i use to save coins. 0_0 once awhile....

Happy feet!!! hee~ and a giraffe head the interns gave a few of us so we can "beat"our own back. A cute dronkey saf gave me. squeeze its wings and it makes noise~so cute. heh~~ its a gd paper wtg too.

Norbet at a corner. And his roomies, the heat pad n mini hanger ice gave me, and stationeries that i dun use often coz they r the nice nice kind. 0_0

This is my corner

moi office~~

2007-07-01T20:35:00.000+08:00

Guess i dun show much of my office, so i shall upload some pics here~ The gers in my office all like to tk pics so i got quite abit. these are like, long long ago kind. haha.

When we just move to the new office. surround with white walls!
The first few things i bring to my new desk. Frank n norbert.
A little group photo outside fish n co.
This pic is quite long ago. maybe a yr? i dunno. This is my department plus one from subtitlin n logistics. Taken in the old office where we were cramp like saldines with hardly any aircon and experience blackout on a daily basis.
Some photoshop nonsense i do to relaxe once awhile. hehe

My best bud in the office beside me,pauline. i call her buddy n best friend to irritate her. and the next is jamie. a ger as corny as me. 0_o
preety for the camera while i am working. cool eh?
Company outing, ate at lemongrass or something. cut my birthday cake too. we always cut cake on birthdays and farewell. the only place u can have cake til u r scared of em.
Princess mashiro n me! During her poodle yrs.
During pauline's farewell. the funny thing is she is not in this photo. haha!

MC again

2007-06-28T15:54:00.000+08:00

I am home alone again. Yesterday my stomach suddenly hurt v badly so i went to c another doc. Tot its food poisoning but doc says i have stomach flu and was still running a fever. Hmmmm, but i dunno if i am running a temperature now cause yesterday i actually felt better b4 the tummy pain came. Soooo, i have to swallow like, 7 diff pills til tonight. I didn't wan a jab cause he say jab on the bum. -_-"

Unfortunately, both my mc days are on abang wan's mounting day. so i dun get to act spolit n have someone fussing over me. heh. but anyways, i feel better now. Taking 2 mc this week blow my chance of getting the reward for employees who nv tk mc or 1 day mc in a year. oh well.

This week i realise how weak my immune system has become. I hardly fall sick last time but since i join the working world, i get sick more often. and worse, i take so long to recover. I used to take only one day to get better. I realise that i have to watch my diet and exercise so that i am not so weak. Saf has been asking me to tk vitamins n all but i didnt listen.

So people! Take care of your health! Its your best assert! Dun regret only when u get old!

MC

2007-06-25T10:17:00.000+08:00

I am home now. heh. Feel abit sick today, bad throat and the hot-cold-hot-cold thing. think I'm falling sick so i went to c the weird doctor near my hse again. Still as weird. but guess I am more prepared now. heh.

ran out of books to read. abit bored but still ok la. usually will be happy to stay at home if i have things to read, shld have went to the libray in the weekend. Hmmm...

ok, kinda stone now. maybe sleep too much.

Burger Rush!

2007-06-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

I've just completed burger rush. its such a addictive game. whee, finally i complete it cause usually i stop for many many days n finally, i complete it. whee~~~ but it finish so sudden that i dun really know the ending story cause i click too fast thinking there is one last game. -_-" oh well, can always complete it again but i dun think i have time for that at the moment. next aim is to maple til i am level 30. 0_0 play for quite awhile but...hardly play it then still so low level. jiatang u say u level low, look at me!!!! haha~ saf even bought me a new weapon but i cant use it cause i am so low. heh. nvm, maple is like, so so far away. so i'll take my time.

Just now went shopping w abang wan. well, at least we tried. both quite tired n guess we not really used to shopping? its like, i have this habit of looking at things i like, but putting them back? cause for such a long time i dun really "shop"? i'm used to it, even if i like, i can dun buy it. i mean, i do buy on impulse once awhile but i nv been on a shoppin spree or anything like that. mostly its stuff thats quite cheap. haha~ and i like to buy things for ppl than for myself. like but gifts la, or wat. cause i noe ppl will be happy with receiving nice gifts. (partyly cause i didn't receive any gifts from any colleagues during my birthday and realise it can feel abit sucky. haha~) n if the thing is for myself, i can be quite picky. whee~

but anyhow, abang wan n me manage to get a top each. i got a jacket n he got a sweater.

WHEE~~~~

oh yah, had my appraisal too. receive good reviews n bosses will let me know how much pay increment i will get. whee~ hope i get bonus too. haha~ then plus the GST package, whee~ feel like i can finally save abit!

Abang ORD soon and JT coming back! vicky birthday coming up n she might come SG in the future. projects r ongoing. hmmm, shld be quite busy in the future. haha~

wanna go travel w abang and my family. well, when my mum's case is close.

bleh...

2007-05-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

so moody, so easily...so sucks...I HATE PMS n i noe some guys think its an excuse gers use when they get unreasonable. BUT TRUST ME, WE HATE IT EVEN MORE THAN U DO.

who wants to get more pimples suddenly, moody suddenly, sensitive suddenly, a gluttony suddenly? NO ONE. First, no one want pimples, gers like to be pretty n pretty means a face as smooth as a newborn. not some pimple plantation to make us feel even worse than what we r feeling already. Second, moody and sensitive. It sucks cause u get so emo n u get irritated easily, hurt easily n cry so easily. sometimes u cry to sleep thinking that everyone dislike u, dun love u, that kinda shit. but after awhile, u suddenly cheers up cause u remember tmolo is a weekend. it just feel so real, u cant control it, u feel "normal", like how u think is the same as everyday. but than, at times u noe it mite be pms but then u get controls by it. third, gluttony. We need to stay slim n not eat stuff like chocolate or watever snacks that we have cravings for. We DUN WANT cellulite on our thighs n butt by eating fatty n sugary stuff. and waste money on snacks. even with ulcer, u buy that bar of chocolate n eats it.

its physically n emotionally draining, n it doen't sound like a valid reason even to ourselves. Worse right? n usually the person closest, usually the bf gets it.

i dunno. i just want PMS to GO_AWAY.
Stay away from me cause i cant freaking get one month of peace.

hai...$$$...

2007-04-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think its unfair how the rich controls the world n how the poor, who r not as educated gets "eaten" by the big evil money generator. If the rich can be so kind as to contribute, sympathise w the poor, the world would be a much better place. do u know that if the food distribution is even in the world, we actually have more than enuff to go ard? no kids or family will need to die of starvation or suffer so much, slogging their whole life just for that miserable one meal a day. but then, thats the way it is, isn't it? who dun wanna keep all the money for themselves rite? i rather spend like hundred dollars to buy a stupid top than spend 10 dollars to feed a kid for a week. thats the way it is, isn't it?

I am sad abt all this money shit. i even tot of one day being able to go overseas n study. so selfish, but i tot maybe i shld dare to dream. not be safe like this, like now. but that amt of money would have got the cblood sucker off my family's back, for good. So what i wanna do now is earn more money. my appraisal NV came. its been 3 weeks. will i get a pay rise? or still the same. i think i am being underpaid. Its time to seriously think abt what i shld do. but then again, at times like this, i cant afford to lost my only source of income. hai~ sian ah. *bui*

No offence but alot of ppl is actually v fortunate. but they dun realise it. they grumble about their little little problems. like how they cant go to this place for holiday, how they dun have enuff money to buy the things they want, how this ger got this thing n she dun, all the stupid shit. Actually, i am one of them, now that i type it out i can see myself,wheeeeeeeeee, great. But at least i really DUN have the money to do all this while some idiotic ppl can complain cause they did it few months ago, n they wanna do it again, or watever. Arg, so upset by all these things suddenly going thru my mind. all trigger by $$$. shall not say more. agitated enuff.

Alone in the office~

2007-04-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

I am alone in the office now, so i decided to blog. since i dun really have time to email vic and the gers, updating here will be good. haha~ and, i won't feel so scard i guess. heh. should ask abang wan here but he is on 24hrs duty. hope i can finish before 12. waiting for it to output then burn it. so tired. but lucky my colleague, maragret helped me, or else i think i won't be able to finish in time.

wanna go home n sleep.

recently i;ve been thinking of maybe chnaging jobs. but do what? hai~ damn tired, think i just stop here. haha~ cant think.

ZZZzzzZZZz

I cant stop...

2007-04-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

...bitching about work! About how busy work has become. I am even trying to think of the longest record of how many hours i clock in a day so far. which is crazy. haha~ it seems like, i dunnoe, when ppl get into the working world, they become "adults who keep on bitching about work". I notice i am becoming a typical working person. Work, get paid, spend.

hmmm, not very good, the "me" 1 yr plus ago find ppl like the present "me" shallow. I remember how i feel like i couldnt fit in or click w the other editors in my first job. the things they tok about, going to hong kong, buying things, all this dun interest me. there r bigger things out there, things that ppl can do to make the world so much better. but, ppl rather spend hundreds and thousands on enjoyment than help. NOW, i am like one of them. I wanna travel, go somewhere n just open my eyes to things, to experience and c for myself what ppl have been wow-ing about. like taiwan, how one by one, ppl go there like its just malaysia. How melb and perth is boring yet so nice. hai~ basically, $$$. i shld sit down n meditate. haha~

anyways, i wanna go do voluteering work too, like at countries where ppl r v poor. think this way i will be grateful to alot of other things.

I'm thinking of uploading some pics, but, i dun really have recent pics w me, some is in my phone, but, my USB cable is in the office. i use it to charge my phone. 0_0 oh yah, tag board sucks. i cant be bothered w it anymore. have to like, freaking post all the time or else it gets deleted or something. watever. i got better things to do than use another hr trying to fix it. crazy.

Oh yah, i am becoming a tv freak again. proud to say it. So many good tv shows coming up and saf downloads nice anime too. my current fav is sunday nite. ugly betty n america's next top model. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Long time no c~

2007-04-01T16:57:00.000+08:00

Its been years since i updated, or actually surf the net or anything. Feels v long, hah, but been v buzy with work lately. Ot-ing to death til late and going to work early just so i have that extra time to finish work. hai~ shit, work darn hard but not satified w the product. Just when appraisal is going on, i have to show em how screw up the work is. hai~ but one of my boss seem to understand that this project is harder, and being my first time, there's alot of things i dunnoe. But then, from what i noe, u nv know what ppl think behind your back. Its something i learn recently. so, hai~ basically working and working and working last week. til i feel that my back is gonna break coz i've been sittiing straight for so long.

I will prove myself. that I am a very good worker. And they r wrong to make me feel so unimportant and unappreciated at times that i tot maybe i should just leave. Then again, i think, why shld i be proving myself? I find it quite obvious lei, haha~ Rite~~~ ppl just think i am a joker but hey, i am v serious in my job ok!!!! And in my little, short working experience, ppl who work w me r basically v happy w my performance. except once when i worked as a promoter and cldn't even get one sale. haha~ hai~ dunnoe la, maybe i think too much or watever. lalala~ wait til the appraisal la.

And everything's going on fine. w my bro too. Vic i will email u abt it. heheh. My bro is still in DB, took off to visit him on wed. So. till then, take care ppl!!!!

Phone...my phone..

2007-02-25T12:58:00.000+08:00

My phone is in the repair shop, and i can only get it back on monday nite, after abang wan takes it back for me. hai~ its my dream phone..but.. they cheated my feelings, and saf's! haha~ so gers, anything important. drop a mail~

Lunar New Yr

2007-02-17T14:45:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese New yr people!!! may everyone get more ang bao and may life be smooth sailing for everyone! Prosperous and get pay rise! promoted!~ everything that shld happen! heh heh heh!

Our Song

2007-02-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

"Banana Pancakes" Jack Johnson

Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside...
But Baby, You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep ya
From doing what your supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Ill make you banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside

But just maybe, laka ukulele
Mommy made a baby
Really don't mind the practice
Cause your my little lady
Lady lady love me
Cause I love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like there's no world outside

And we could pretend it all the time
Cant you see that its just raining
Aint no need to go outside
Aint no need aint no need Mmmm MMmmm
Cant you see cant you see
Rain all day
And I don't mind.

The telephone is singing
Ringing its too early
Don't pick it up
We don't need to we got everything
We need right here
And everything we need is enough
Just so easy
When the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarm
Wake up slow, yeah wake up slow
You hardly even notice
When I try to show you this
Song is meant to keep ya
From doing what your supposed to
Like waking up too early
Maybe we can sleep in
Ill make you banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Can't you see that it's just raining
Aint no need to go outside
Aint no need, Aint no need
Rain all day and I really really really don't mind
Can't you see cant you see,
You gotta wake up slow

Saturday morning....

2007-02-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

Kenneth just came over w bf for emily. 0_0 so akward hoh? heh, coz i am abit hungry and thou they offered me bf too it feels weird. i shall wait for the arrival of safuan by seating here and blogging all this.

This week went on quite ok. i din really go out. I nv join the 2 farewell thingy. on MC on wed. Din get to meet up w the girls this week but did finally meet up w pauline since she left the company. heh, think its gd to meet up, coz i dunnoe, i feel that its "healthy". Coz certain stuff, u can only tell certain ppl. Like u usually bitch w gers not guys, that sorta thing. And because the gers and pauline, in my opinion dun judge me. i feel comfortable ard em. I dunnoe la. but these days, i dun have the energy to get judged, dun wanna have the feeling that behind my back, bleh bleh bleh is talking abt me. And one of the facts i dun have any close friends now wld be coz i dun spend as much time as i shld be, dun initiate, dun do much. i noe, i sit there, just waiting. then sometimes i think, maybe this wld be wat is best for me. I noe friends i can trust, i have abang w me now. so its enuff. then why do i feel that the way things r going is wrong?

I'm neglecting alot of things but then again, i dunnoe if i can do anything, or keep up w what i tried to do. gosh..so many things i wanna do. but i cant. time n money. bad masters that we have become slaves to. sometimes, u noe wat is the right thing to do, but u dun do it, coz u r selfish, u wanna save some for urself, so u let it go on. and before u noe it. thats it. i toking crap. haha~ only i noe what i am toking abt i guess. I wanna live my life...

Thinking of closing this blog. it doesn't really have a meaning except to let me whine. and maybe i shld whine alone. haha~ like that wun cost any misunderstandings to anyone. hoh?

Yesterday is my anniversary, so today i will celebrate!!!! yeah! i wanna go to the beach or anywhere near the sea, but scared rain. how how? hehe~ maybe next time then. i miss the sea, the soft breeze, the sound of nature w no vehicles, noises from everywhere. just lie down and relaxe. arg..nice nice.

Everyone have a gd life! suddenly cheer up. haha~ tata!

Sunday morning so noisy!

2007-01-28T10:58:00.000+08:00

its a sunday morning. n its really quite noisy. -_-" coz my mum off den her phone ring n ring in the morning. her idiotic boss wants her to go back to work n tk her pathetic offday away. when she rest 2, 3 days a month. n its not the first time. then her ringtone is the china man singing really REALLY loud. man...then rachel woke up coz of that n switch on the tv in the room. in the end emily n me woke up. -_-" i slept quite late last nite. i'm thinking of adjusting my time to sleep early coz sleeping at 10plus 11 i cant do much. by 10plus if i'm outside, sometimes i get headache. its just that i always feel shld rest COZ i SHLD rest. n i dun have much time to do other things. but have to wake up at 6am on certain days makes me tired really early.

And there's alot of things going on for the past 4 months. holidays, many many birthdays, gatherings. sometimes i really wonder how ppl can be really active in social circles. i am trying v hard just trying to meet up and the thing is i still neglect all of my friends in a certain way. its like, i still cant meet them as they r meeting each other. i have to postpone meeting up w pauline even thou i really really wanna meet her coz i have 2 birthdays this week. e coming few weeks gonna be busy too.

i'm thinking, maybe coz i have diff groups of friends and i'm being too greedy by wanting to meet everyone. In the end, u cant please everyone. i wish i can split myself in 2 sometimes. that way its easier. i dun need to cancel dates, feel left out in any group and get suspected of acting busy.

this coming wk there mite be a farewell dinner, its my 2nd yr anniversary, a unconfirm primary sch gathering, dunnoe visiting my gp anot since now my uncle always dun go n we have to go, HAVE to find time to meetup w pauline n the girls. then my mum always suddenly say she off. aiyah. write out makes me abit stress. shld be happy rite? haha~ and my dad..wonder how he is after that incident that day..wish i'm rich, can give everyone money. ok, wallowing in self pity! woho~ haha~

Just try having to go home n deal w housework and ur niece's sch work every other day. teaching spelling til late even thou u reach hm at almost 8 n is tired urself. sick of doing things coz my sis refused to do. sick of doing hsework n still have such a messy house. sick of being broke. sick of my hand rotting.

But alot of things i am grateful for. Really, life is getting better thou busier. But still grateful for alot of things. I'm lucky in so many ways. Abang wan, friends, stable work. i'll blog abt my happiness more one day, since i'm feeling not so happy today.

Pretty Santarinas~

2006-12-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

Hey girls, my gift to you all from the powerful photoshop which will give us the perfect figure! pardon me if its not perfect, for, no one is perfect. heh heh.

lalala~

2006-12-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope everyone had a gd christmas! Me? i spend christmas eve companying nana who suddenly had high fever and spend the nite counting down for the arrival of my sister, Desrina the majesty, to bring her to a clinic or hospital. the poor girl was crying. Hai~ And in the end after a 1 hr plus wait,went to thomson medical. Then in the middle of the nite wake up to feed her medicine. i will make a gd mother okay?? OKAY??!! if i want to. haha~ so ppl, have kids ONLY when u r prepared, coz there is NO holiday for parents.

Then christmas itself celebrated with abang wan. Was quite puzzled how come outside still got alot of ppl. i tot the WHOLE world will count down and the next day will be ghost town. went to pasta mania. eat the "curry puff" pizza the first time. WAHH!!!! haha~ then watch nite at the museum. NICE!

and now its the long weekend. wheee~ Shiok hoh? would be better if i get bonus. BUT! i shall not bitch about that coz i am trying to learn to be grateful and that getting abit last month was good already. thou thinking abt yesterday makes me upset BUT! i shall learn to be grateful and reflect on myself. Oh ya, Yier, Saf and me tried the heat pad u give. woah~! its amazing. so cool. Where did you get it!? haha~

Today by right i should be enjoying myself outside but coz emily watching movie so i had to fetch rachel. and i keep getting tummyache. the type where u noe you gotta Laosai. wahahah~ so maybe its a blesing in disguise that i have to fetch her. if not i'll be a nuisance outside. Its abang wan's last off day of the year so he asked me if i cld tk off too. I took off and in the end have to fetch the crazy girl who fall sleep in less than 30min after we reach hm. -_-"

Still, got to watch Barot today. Its a stupid but funny comedy. haha~ certain part still makes me luff. heheh. Shld watch it. Its very natural. i wonder if certain part is fake. and editing can do alot of tricks. so, heheh, watch it ppl! And see pamela anderson in the show. CJ. wahaha~

Merry X'mas!!!

2006-12-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

Its gonna be christmas in a few hours. I kinda like christmas coz i think its a reason to just buy nice small gifts for ppl ard you and its fun to receive presents too. Its a busy season but its fun as well. Whee~ tmlo i will be celebarting it with abang wan. today, i stay home with my mum. who is down with flu and is home the whole day. Now she is sleeping and so is nana goh, who i think is running a fever. Haiyah, this holiday season got so many ppl falling sick due to the hot cold hot cold weather. oh well, at least i am okay. quite ok. haha~

This wk got to meet up with the girls.

Groupie 1: Victoria petpet, eeling & emily.
We dressed gothic and went to eat at suntec. Ppl stared at me at the mrt station. maybe i shld kick them. but i didn't. haha~ Quite happy that day coz its been ages seen i see them, see victoria. And nana was with me as usual. And she received gifts too. coz they expected her, the leech to be there. haha!~ Thou we din meet for ages, we still chat like we see each other every other wk. hehe~

Groupie 2: yier,jiatang and ade.
We wear nice dresses and had a stayover gathering. Nice. hehe~ yier and jiatang did most of the work cooking n stuff while ade and me help w little stuff. like eating and washing dishes. Thanks for making it a chicken feast ppl. heheh. exchange gift Then we played monopoly which i bankrupt first coz i am not a business woman and was abit stone already. hehe~ yier was the richest i think. she's already a business woman mah. haha~

Its kinda cool. a fruitful week i guess. i get to meet abang wan and the girls and even visited my granfather today. I wanna see the photos soon. heheh, waiting for everyone to send it. but guess after their busy christmas gatherings. hehe~ Then today saf is on duty and my mum off. so i'm home catching on some rest. its quite a busy week.

Somehow i feel bad coz i din get anything for my colleagues, and i did receive a gift and cards and sweet. i wanted too, but with limited cash and my last min-ness, its kinda hard.

I need to plan ahead! i need to save more money! i need to live my life to the fullest! but i am so lazy. haiya~ sorry everyone, friends, family and abang wan. Know i am not around for you all as often as i should be. I thank you all for being understanding towards me in this. Thank you all so very much for trying ur best to fit into my timetable and being so patient.

I noe its hard on abang wan this 2 weeks coz i am always not ard. Sorry abang.

Sorry everyone and thanks for being there.

Have a merry X'mas ppl! Tk care!

For asian Skin?

2006-12-03T13:35:00.000+08:00

Notice how many cosmetic products claim its specially formulated for asian skin but all the models are ang moh? So...not convincing.

just wanna say that.

Like wat one of my colleague, stupid fringe sister Erin like to say,

IN YOUR FACE!

HAHA~

Year end!

2006-12-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

Its the end of the year already! So fast~! Its the long sale season that alot of ppl has been waiting for. wah~~~ Perfect! haha. But it will be more perfect if i actually get bonus or a pay rise. Thou i think boss thinks i dun work hard, since everytime he see me i am doing something not work related, like, smsing. -_-" Suay lo. I muz work harder i guess, make myself indispensable den i leave. 0_0 wat the eff??!! haha~ nah, just feel i shld at least prove myself, coz i noe i can do it. just that sorta given up on working hard for em since to em we r always slow slow slow. Bleh. becoming typical complaing adult. sick. i wanna be forever young! and beautiful! and kind! and caring! and everything!!!! hehe~ i wan more money so i can buy things i wan! yeah! do the things i wanna do. like...its a secret. heheh.

This month my money is gone like water. i dunnoe y. hmmm, i mean, i noe i spend abit more but not THAT much. even my haircut is only 20 bucks. but i spend more on food. like juice. so expensive but gd for watashi's health.

Then just now abang wan treat me to sushi!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i like. hehe~ at sakae. I am not adventurous abt food but sushi taste gd even thou cold. its a shiokness not found in just any food.

Christmas coming!!!!!!!!!!! presents! food! another excuse to enjoy and spice up our typical lives.

Oh yah, pauline, my colleague is leaving. now no one to tell me weird jokes. 0_0 wahahahah~ or make weird jokes with me.

Why my topic so random?

maybe coz i am pretty.

Wheeeee~~~~~~

DFV Reunion

2006-11-19T18:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday there was a DFV reunion. Almost everypne turn up, but strangely, ppl dun seem to be talking as much. Like, The whole table maybe 5 ppl talking like that. So quiet. Ppl like michael and cliff used to be so loud was quiet as well. I find it abit weird lo, coz we used be to such a noisy bunch, playing marble in the lab, doing nonsense. then now like, "......." haha. Abang Wan say maybe some of us still abit akward coz of the past. i think he is rite. probably feel abit akward since we end at a bad note. bad note? correct anot? My english is getting atrocious! wahahah~ actrocious sia~ i need to read more la. improve my english. but so lazy to go libray sometimes. wahahah~ coz the books so freaking~ heavy. But it was gd to see everyone once awhile, not much changes. coz it wan't that long ago. only 1 yr plus.

Oh yah, we went to fish n co, the ppl really squeeze us tog lo. bleh. abt 17 of us then like, 4 to a table, so out chairs is like literally side by side. -_-" and practically EVERY table at the second level has a birthday boy/girl. Really, almost EVERY table excepy ours. the thing is, why fish n co? maybe got fireworks. haha~

my nose is running and running ah. gotta go. i'll blog more when i'm more up for it. haah~ been kinda tired recently... bye~

WeRiD DreaM...

2006-11-06T07:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i had a really weird dream abt WWII. 0_0 SEe? i can have "intelligent" dreams. Thou the content was kinda rubbish. hehe~ well, gotta get ready to work but still some time to waste. usually i go back to sleep after sending nana to sch but coz i slept v early yesterday. i cant sleep. heh. thou i am yawning.

Life's been okay. more cash will help thou. human beings are greedy hoh, last time i have enuff money to eat i am happy, now i wan this wan that. tsktsktsk. if only i have a job that pays me like, 4k a month. Wheee~~~~~ that i will be happy. haha~

Selena - Dreaming of You

2006-10-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I'd wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside?
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far, all I have are dreams of you
So, I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming about you and me

I can't stop dreaming of you
I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I'd stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that you came up to me
And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow, and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Then here in my room,
Dreaming with you endlessly...

Well, i am listening to this song now. Selena. A gd singer, a pity she died so young.

2006-10-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

Hey ppl!!!! my sis's friend is selling her jack russel for 200 bucks. Its a 1 yr old male. Please help. price can negotiate! it needs a home in a wk~!

Chinese Garden!

2006-10-07T14:46:00.000+08:00

Me and mum~ on my sis's car. We lost our way. -_-"

Crazy girl...

The girl v cute hoh? Her mum was taking e pic for us and my sis ask her to join. she is the "Asian Cabbagepatch kid".

The tower of plates. heh.

The candy shape i got was a bird. Nice hoh? $2. haha.

Desrina the most power, peacock sia!!!!! my mum got a deer. wahahaha!~ looks abit like worm from far.

Crazy girl..again...

See the "8" shape on the turtle? ppl tied wire's ard em to get that shape n sell it. Coz its a gd number. but eventually if the wire is not removed, the tortise will die coz it cant breath. Plz support the turtle museum! Even got the 1 n only 2 headed siamese turtle~

The scary snake neck turtle. so scary...

And thats all for now! hope i get more pics to post soon~ bye~

Finally!!!!

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Finally i change a new blogskin, hehe. Its been awhile since i change coz i find it too troublesome and seeing my friends changing their's inspire me as well. Oh well, I'm rite abt it being troublesome coz it took freaking long to get it done properly. -_-" i'm such a script idiot. but nvm. as simple as it is is good enuff. I'm tired already. -_-" It's really freaking tiring. haha~ i took like...2 hrs? my god.

Anyways ppl, have a gd life!

Shit, Pee, Eat, Make Merry!

Psycho me too tired to think of wat to say. heh. Tk care~

WHeeeee~

2006-09-10T12:20:00.000+08:00

Its been so long since i blog~ wahahah~ well, really no time. this week work is really really hectic, well, i can say for the next few wk it will be so. Bleh. Everyone's loaded w work suddenly. hai~ i dun have much batteries man. i OT til midnight for 2 days, rest of the days til 10plus, then my brain cant tk it already. -_-" so lousy. So the whole wk is lik, oting lo. 0_0 n next wk is the same. hai~~~~~ life so short. work so long. heh.

i wonder how ppl tahan in the same job for like 2 yrs. or like 1 yr plus. maybe they face diff things everyday. my job is not bad too. but i wonder, how long can i stay? And wat will i do after this? for now i get to touch on desgin at times so its kinda nice. but most of the time solving problems. Heard alot of ppl r already lookin at alternatives coz its time to move on. i still have time to think. but what? hmmm...i WUN go back to editing i guess. got phobia of editing. it freaks me out. but i dun have much skills left lei? maybe its time to join project superstar. Wahahah~ my god. i dun think i ever will. in singapore, these things dun last, n i wonder how come ppl dun c it? their stardom dun last at all. at most lk a yr? n if its serious career, dun show ur face like that, shld come out w a solid album then ta-daa! a star is born~ but hai, alot of things i guess ppl dun sense it. the industry is realistic. but i shall not say much, dun wanna get sued. haha. cya~

been so long..

2006-07-29T15:48:00.000+08:00

hmmm, since i blog. its like, i dun really have much internet access. i blog like, 10 times yearly?! haha.

Well, work is the same, getting abit, i dunnoe, forever rushing kinda thing. but life is gd. gd gd gd. like lilo n stitch kinda gd. 0_0 just feel that, hmm, i got quite a gd life actually. Alot of things i shld be grateful for. From love life, to family, to everything. Sooooooo, time to think of goals to archieve n so on. Like! If i shld join hollywood n become a superstar that i was born out to be, OR maybe become a famous singer in the music scene n inspire everyone out there. wahahaha~ RITE. Sorry, kinda stone. Tired.

I probably will blog again only after a long long time.

tots~for the day!

2006-06-02T11:21:00.000+08:00

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for.

-Epicuru

Hey ppl~ been kinda busy so, haha, no time to update. well. at hm i dun really have time or get the chance to use com coz my sis is warcraft fanatic. update another time. tata!

Buzyyyzyyy

2006-04-26T08:26:00.000+08:00

been really busy lately, rushing project n ot-ing to death.just dropping by so i wun MIA too long, its like, my monthly update. haha. Usually go home sleep, do hsework or teach nana hw. so basically i'll have things to do. Vicotoria tiaw pet pet! i'll reply ur email asap ya! when i have the time to check mail k?

hey guys!

2006-04-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

its been awhile since i update~ i realise yesterday, when my last post is like a month ago. haha~ sorry was kinda like, not surfing the net or using the com at home nowadays, since i stare at the computer for hrs at work, i lost interest in staring too much of it at home. bad for moi eyes but mostly, i am just lazy~ wheee~~~~

anyways i cut my hair yesterday. the person style it for me n i look like a rock star. or if u wanna see it another way, a secondary sch ger that wants to act cool. 0_0 haha~ but after abang wan restyle it, it got better, n after iw ashed it at home, even better. sorry, i am not a fanciful person. i wanted another haircut, this is not wat i want! n selina, wat they cut from u, they cut double from ME. 0_0 but well, i just take it that they cutting away all the badly bleach hair i have last time. its ok. a new hair, a new me. i can feel it, my creative juice flowing out, sqeezing out from my pores. RITE. it just makes me wan to think of diff ways to comb it or wat, so i look like "me". so now i am not kenira knightly anymore(one of e ger at my workplace say i look like her, the jaws),so even thou i still have the jawline but feels diff. haha~ so sad........i go somehwre more expensive n its not wat i wan, thou i look ok..but u noe, not i wan....haha.

and another sad thing is...just start of month n i am so damn broke. coz i need to pay here n there n bills. bleh. still need to go on for abt 2 months before i have some money. now is like, i still gotta ne thrifty. n ppl, when anyone of u say u r broke, i dun believe it. coz u can NEVER be as broke as me. haha, trust me. i envy u ppl. hai~ sian. i wish i got more money. haha~ k then, before i get whining i better go. tata~

damn tired

2006-02-28T22:10:00.000+08:00

just second day of work but i am v tired...really exhausted kind of tired. not becoz the work is hard. but after slacking so long, such long hrs wear me out. n today, i got so many things to deal w, i am super tired n irritated.

heres how my day went:
6am wake up w emily to prepare nana go sch, her lunchbox, uniform, etc
7.30am prepare for work
8.15am to 9.15am travel
9.30am to 6.30pm work
6.30pm to 7.15 travel to fetch nana from in-law
7.15pm to 8pm fetch nana n walk home
8pm to 9pm rest n chat w saf
9pm to 10pm teach nana hw n do hsework

n it hasn't even ended, nana went to look for her mum downstairs coz her mum ask me to pass her cash. make me so damn irriataed n angry lo. seriously, my life seems to be busy becoz i have to tk care of her daughter!!! n she calls to make me do nonsense stuff! like whether i can go down check the sensei still open anot la, pass her money la. i am tired n irritated lo. usually emily helps me but today she went to meet ken. one day n i feel like i cant tk it. heswork n teach hw?!!!!! lucky nana is gd today, if not wat?!!!! I CANT EVEN GO OUT AS N WHEN I WANT TO. ITS BETTER THAN THE PAST BUT ITS NOT ENUFF SUMTIMES!!! n when i am v tired, i get irritated w nana n treat her badly, THEN i feel guilty. wat the hell. give me a break.

quick update~

2006-02-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

just to tell u guys, i got a job already, starting work this monday, instead hoh? yah lo, i always like that one. hee~ gd luck to me! hope the working environment is gd n i can perform well! thaks for all the support~

am i so hard to understand?

2006-02-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

when i was teaching nana, it gets frustratin almost everytime. coz of her chicken pox she is v behind compared to others, esp in chinese. i have to teach her han yu pin ying which i sucks big time too. so its hard for me too, coz i really suck at it. i understand her slowness n frustration as well, coz she dun get it at all. But just now i tok to abang wan, he dun get wat i am saying too. i wonder, am i so hard to understand? but i think coz both of us are tired. And after just coaching nana, it gets really really frustartin to have to explain things again. when i am just talking normally. i am so tired that my eyes r shutting off already. but my heart is upset coz of all the miscommunication. it somehow makes me think of the idiotic producer that shouted at me, who sarcastically say that he need to take communication skills lessons when i cant understand him after a few times. it feels like its just me. n even as i teach nana so hard, she doesn't get the grades she gets when its emily or her mum teaching her. so the problem muz be with me, rite?

gift day.

2006-02-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

today is the gift day, coz, i got like, so many gifts to buy. hehe~ quite tiring but its gd i have something to do la. everyday at home is abit crazy too. bring nana to the doc at bedok, then met irene for lunch, then went orchard buy gift. so tired n poor nana was really really shag. just had my "dinner" coz just now late lunch mah, then thou no hungry, i have my a-least-3-meals-a-day policy now. coz everyone is teling me i am v skinny n...i saw my own anorexic pic n i agree. haha~ hope dun grow fat at the wrong place. i wan my upper body to grow more. wat shld i do? hmmm....any suggestions?

tickle IQ test!

2006-02-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

Your thinking style: Detail Specialist

Your IQ score is 110. This means that you are smarter than 75.0% of all other Super IQ test takers.

This number is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on the Tickle Super IQ Test.

But there's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score, or a single label. Tickle uses 8 distinguishable dimensions of intelligence in the Super IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those 8 scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how you process information, and which intellectual strengths you're best at.

Your test results indicate that the way you process information makes you a Detail Specialist.

You are a sponge for new information about the way things work. Though you already understand many things instinctively, you are still interested in the finer details that might contribute to an even greater understanding. Your strong spatial abilities come in handy here as they help you to understand the relationship between objects and physical space. In addition, your eye for detail and desire for organization allow you to grasp the meaning of any experience.

Sometimes your type of intelligence is not recognized in schools. And oftentimes traditional intelligence tests — unlike this one — emphasize verbal and numerical abilities, but do not assess a person's understanding of how things work in a practical way. It's clear, however, that you have a kind of 'common sense' intelligence that others do not, and your way of thinking will always be useful.

As you can see, your top scores are in the areas of Spatial, Mechanical, and Visual. This is a very unusual combination — only 6 in 1,000 people have it. Want more proof? Then pay attention to the percentages of people who scored higher and lower than you on each of the 8 intellectual strengths.

and blah blah blah. I'm SMART!

photos...CNY outing!

2006-02-08T14:27:00.000+08:00

yummy yummy! the ramen in FJ~

no..irene din do anything to me..haha
Kawaii!!!!
see what see? yes, i made my eyes bigger w photoshop. wahah~

photos...My birthday celebration w polyfriends

2006-02-08T14:13:00.000+08:00

yah, i know, he is irritating...

not that i wanna comment..but they look really like a couple. -_-"

my birthday present!

i know i hardly post up photos, but recently i got some, so i'll post it. but eh..JT,ICE! i wan photos from u guys too! (but i always not online! haha)

well...a month of joblessness

2006-02-08T12:43:00.000+08:00

have u ever feel so bored that, u r not motivated to do ANYTHING AT ALL? well, thats how i feel now. bored n kinda wasting my time. but i still treasure this kinda slacking, just that the too much feee time makes me no want to do anything n thats wasting time. i have things on my mind that i wanna do, but i just....dun feel like it. i look at the nice weather i wanna go out, alone? abit weird. can do, but i dun want. nvm, i am whining~~~~~

anyways, yesterday i wanted to blog but blogger was under maintanence so kinda irritated me alittle coz, i wanted to find a place to "talk" n i cant. -_-" sometimes i am like, home the whole day so the only person i tok to is myself. i can like, not even noe my sore thraot is so bad that i sound weird til i tok to nana when i fetch her from childcare. sad hoh? at least at nite can tok to emily also la. but these 2 days saf outfield, watashi...watashi...OK! its no ones fault, i'm just lazy. everyone need to work wat. except me. n my mum, i can hear her asking emily if i am looking for job. she thinks all i do is go out i think. really, coz when she have offday during the weekend, i will still go out. but the thing is, everything is at the weekend, saf bk out so short of coz i wanna meet him. i company her til like 5pm then go out wat, not like not at all..den monday she say muz wash her uniform, i wanted to. but end up was out with my elder sis the whole day. wanted to do at nite, then she sarcastically called n say :"wat have u been doing the whole day?" pissed me off when she deliberately tok lk that lo. seriously, it was unplanned n i wanted to do it. just coz i jobless i have to do everything meh???? then the next morning she ask emily "that one got look for job anot?" wat tat one, tat one, might as well call me IT. then last nite she hm think still unhappy. so petty lo. -_-" not like i cam using her money or wat. my transport, food, bills all i pay one...and finding a suitable job is so so so not easy lo.

my ex shifu just now call me chit chat n say they still want me back. and they will pay me well. another 2 editor just left. that makes like, 7 editors leaving for the pass 8 mths. thats alot man. but the only 3 reason i will go back is

no.1 to conquer my fear
no.2 for money
no.3 to yaya papaya to my senoir who seems to find me a threaten n show me attitude when i told her i can switch w her but last min change it again coz i realize i can't. how can lk that one? if i cld i wld. but so attitude for wat?? To wanna be better then her n make her jealous coz i think she got issues. bleh. why? why u make me dislike u? haha~ like she cares man.

third day of CNY

2006-01-31T11:14:00.000+08:00

well, just a quick update. New yr so far is great. abit boring at times, but thats new yr. slack n snack. anyways, just found out that a cute hamster died. abit sad for him. his actually got a website abt him, quite cute but just passed away. so poor thing..but at least he was really loved by the owner. can visit cuteoverload guys, quite nice.

http://www.cuteoverload.com/

www.baruchito.com

ppl change?

2006-01-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

well, when i settle down to think n to feel, hmm, i feel everypne's not really the same anymore. including myself of coz..but i dunnoe. i feel, sorta disconnected to alot of friends. as in, the things we tok abt n all that. lifestyle, all diff. quite diff. some friends seems to be growing up, n i, i dunnoe, not really. maybe abit but not as eager as em to grow up. sumtimes i feel lk, hmm, i dunnoe, lk i am coping myself at hm too much. but in a way, this is my way of life, but i do get bored la. haha~ and some ppl, feel lk they change. i start noticing when one friend mention n seems like its true. dunnoe is gd or bad thou. i dun lk it when friend seems to turn superficial. i am turinf superficial too but there is a level u can go rite? dunnoe lah, i am like blabbering already. just. hmmm, need to figure out wat i wanna archieve in life i guess. things r fine the way they are, but, can be better. coz i am wasting my time. shld do more. dun wan lk back n think, "i shld have done this n that! y i din.." all this kind of stuff, but rite now, i still dunoe wat i wanna do..maybe i will just get a temp job or wat i guess.

precious 2 hrs..

2006-01-19T09:01:00.000+08:00

this is my precious 2 hrs in the morning b4 nana wakes up.. i dun mind taking care of her but 24 hrs a days for a few days already plus my pms, its driving me crazy!!!! i get v impatient w her n scold her n she, i dunnoe, iriitates me by asking me question nonstop n interuppting me with watever i am doing. -_-" hope today is ok, coz yesterday was the first day i was in foul mood. chicken pox, n i have to tk care all the time, i dun mind taking care but i need my time too. n with her condition i cant bring her out so we r stuck at hm doing nothing. hai~ my sis say will give some money for this. i hope my own time too man. lucky today going out w JT they all, but still, i cant even meet them on time coz cant pass to emily too early at work. sian sian sian.

Miss 21..

2006-01-16T09:24:00.000+08:00

dunnoe y, since i wake up i been feeling weird. like insecure or sumthing, sumthing just dun feel rite, but i just dunnoe wat is it. hmmm, i turn 21 yesterday~ yohuoo~ quite fast ah, but besides feeling old n a need to find a proper job, its actually nothing special la. feels like another yr but, eh, older?

well, my wkend is like this:

So friday went out w eeling together w emily n nana.to celebrate emily n my birthday we arrange to sing ktv. then nana seem to be having chicken pox so the mum cant tk care of her so we bring her along. then i think i ate sumthing bad coz awhile after dinner i started puking. -_-" but since we already at the ktv place,just continue lo. haha. so puke abit, rest then sing, puke abit, rest n sing. til i can sing no more. 0_0 but in the end, felt so sick n next day was running a fever so abang wan came to tk care of me even thou he is sick. poor thing. So when i finally got better on sunday, i went to lk for new yr clothes w abang wan den later abang was having high fever. so we went to c doc at hospital n he had to go thru a blood test. why? why on my birthday? haha. coz at first was planning to eat sushi or buffet. hehe~ but my stomach cant tk too solid, oily or spicy food. so we cant do wat we plan. i live to eat not eat to live mah. haha. but better la, at least i detox. n abang wan try to make me happy. oh, emily bought me cake too. hee~ i shaill prevail!

and thks to all friend who have remember my birthday! seeya guys soon!!! :D

a brand new yr!

2006-01-03T09:40:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey~! its a brand new yr~ a new yr, a new begginning! And chinese new yr is just round the corner! man, so fast, i tot still got 2 more months b4 CNY but oh well, i guess when ppl gets older, they appreciate festives more. really. last time its just abt new clothes n hong bao, but now, its more than then, i can understand the trouble of going to spring clean, shop n so on. its gd to grow up too i guess. last time i wanted to be 17 forever, but now, well, lucky i am not, phsically can remain but my brains, plz, its better that it grows. thou now its slower. -_-" And wat else to lk forward to new yr? alittle bit of fun n income. playing black jack. hahaha~ hehehe~ sandy n hong zhi~ are u ready??!!! are u ready??!!! got once we just use majong chips thpu. haha~ anyway, all in the name of fun. just win 1 dollar also happy. haha~

And, nana is primary one today!!! my god, so fast. she look so cute w the sch uniform n a;;. where the stress n fun begins! i feel like we din nurture her properly when she was younger.she's abit behind compared to other kids. but if time turns back, its gonna be the same coz emily n me schooling, dun think have much time too. so now primary one, muz really tk her studies seriously. like when i was young, tution n all. all boils down to working hard. i'm not like some born super smart kid but i admit i work hard. til...hmmm, secondary sch not so hard. haha~

AND!!! i hope i can get a nice job soon, but i muz admit its hard. coz there is always gd n bad side of a job rite? oh well, like sel teaching kids art. i think that sounds really interesting. makes me think abt teaching. but..but..i wun like like other subjects besides art n pe. haha.

Somore! emily n my birthday is just round the corner! tick tock tick tock! emily is this sat n i am next sunday! 21!!! hee~ but i dun have any like, great plans to celebrate it thou. emily suggest chalet but thats alot of money. n i dun like to split myself for the occasion. rather have small gatherings w diff gp of friends. and of coz, w abang wan. Then i will have discount for jan if i buy anything at the nathural source~ yahoo~ i am so gonna start looking after my skin. 21 le mah, muz maintain. haha~ well, hope everything is bright n gd but for now i gotta pack the hse. again. ;( when my hands r rotting. k then~ seeya guys!!!!!

Happy new yr ppl!!!! may this yr bring new hope, new luck, new dreams!

sick...

2005-12-28T16:58:00.000+08:00

i am sick, and sick of always saying how sick i feel coz its so sickening. really. even i am "season" of talking abt it. oh well..work ending soon! cant wait, then i will nurse myself back to health. after reading ice's email abt banana, i decided that i will buy some to eat. after my tummy gets better.

sick..again..

2005-12-20T12:18:00.000+08:00

well...i am on MC today, AGAIN. well, my first this month but, i got like 3 MCs last month so, feel abit bad u noe, always taking mc then they have to find relacement n all. another sad thing abt this is how weak i am now. really, last time i have to wish to be sick, now i just fal sick suddenly. -_-" i better start a healthy lifestyle coz i dun wanna be filled w illness when i grow old.

Maybe its the weird sleeping pattern i have, thou my shift for this wk din change, i still din sleep well. i either get weird dreams or work will be going thru my mind, over n over again, where i cld have edited better, where to cut n all, my god. n they come n go lo. it haunts me. haha. especially when i work intensely before i sleep. that day work from 7pm to 5.45am. but at least i got the day off after that. still, cant sleep much coz in the morning everyone getting ready to work n all, so noisy. guess quality of sleep is bad.

u noe how articles say u shld not do anything on ur bed? like if u r suffering from insommia u shld not read la, watch tv all this, use the bed strictly for sleeping? but i like to do alot of things on my bed lei, i read la, eat la, watch tv la, write la, all kinds of things. but i still can fall asleep lei. aiyah, dunnoe wat i am talking abt. pardon me, my head's not working...

quote quote quote

2005-12-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possiblity.

-Oprah Winfrey

My fav song!

2005-12-03T00:13:00.000+08:00

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Wahla~

2005-11-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

i am in quite a gd mood today coz work was quite enjoyable today n tmlo is pay day~!!! And tmlo i will be going out~ lalala~ JT they all call in gers nite out, actually i was thinking, wat if we grow old le, will it still call ger's nite out? 0_o Or maybe like desperate housewives where they have their poker session. Mine shall be sumthing like majong then. haha. but i dunnoe how to play. Uno? game of life? Bleh. haha. if i play such games i think no one will turn up. haha.

Gotta make a fast update then off i go! gotta think of name for my new baby cousin. hmmm, my uncle ask me to think of a english name for her. i tot he only mention it casually when i visit him 2 days ago but turn out he ask emily i tot of any already anot. 0_0 HELP! anyone who can think of nice names that means smart n beautiful, plz sms me or wat k? let me noe. first time la. nervous. so far only named pets. And they din turn out v well. haha. Mickey, boy boy, bebe, ah girl. my dogs name. -_-" but i din come up w em. mostly my mum did. haha. any sugestion is welcome~

Cant wait for pay day, i am so so so broke. left like few bucks. -_-" n i still owe emily money. if i cld, i wanna earn lotsa money so i can give it to my mum, clear all the debts, get a saving plan n have a holiday w my familt. we nv travel tog b4 so it will be gd. but of coz, i dun think mu mum will wan my dad along, my bro i hardly get to c n my elder sis is pregant. Sooooo, its more like half a family. hehe.

Lately i have been having second tots abt leaving my job. thou i grumble alot abt it, this few days working w nice producers has made me wanna do better for em, u noe? like repay em or sumthing coz they r so nice. And there r ppl who wans me to stay. nice ppl. Hai~ wat shld i do. when have i become so wishy washy. well, come to think of it, long ago i guess. Coz i lost myself. i dun really noe me anymore so i dunnoe wat i wan too. A career to learn a new skill? or sumthing relaxing so i have more time for myself. then wat happens to designing? Saf suggest working at a more relaxe job first then brush up my design skills. But this i will worry abt income wise. hai, wish my family din end up like this. i'll be living a easy life now. but then, mite be shallow n rotten too. Poor has made me see alot of other things as well. i keep drifting. haha~ well, just think i am more mature after all that n i gain diff pespective abt things that ppl mite not even noe their whole life i guess. k then, gtg. byebye!

so tired..

2005-11-20T11:08:00.000+08:00

i'm v tired n stone now... dun have the energy or mood to do anything. just wanna sit down n stone. dun even feel like talking to nana or emily. v exhausted i guess..so when i finally get to sleep. my body clock is mesed up. n i think, mentally n physically its taken a toll. been ignoring the need to sleep just so to have more time with saf..but..without health, time only mite not be enuff...i'm tired..but i already slept for abt 10 hrs...

MC, MC

2005-11-17T09:43:00.000+08:00

i just went to the doc again yesterday. got mc too. coughing now again. yucks! throat so itchy. And i did have a blood test, but a v general one i feel. i dunnoe, the way they work is sorta like anyhow. that idiot who draw my blood was noisily chatting with her friend n to her drawing blood is nothing. she like assume i noe wat to do. then when she poke the needle into my right hand n only as little blood came out, she pull in out alittle then poke in again then pull out again, then tell me, "dun have ah, u r too nervous" the just plaster it n signal for my other hand. i can slap her u noe. n she just chat chat chat. lousy service. even if u r damn busy i think alittle more compassion is needed. even the doc is like rushing. coz AMK polyclinic is damn crowded due to the temp closing of TPY polyclinic. i waited one hr for the medicine. Oh well, she say my blood is normal. Soooo, i am thinking of a PROPER full body checkup at a PROPER place. myabe queenstown polyclinic, they r nicer. i hate drwawing blood....