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Thursday, November 24, 2005
i am in quite a gd mood today coz work was quite enjoyable today n tmlo is pay day~!!! And tmlo i will be going out~ lalala~ JT they all call in gers nite out, actually i was thinking, wat if we grow old le, will it still call ger's nite out? 0_o Or maybe like desperate housewives where they have their poker session. Mine shall be sumthing like majong then. haha. but i dunnoe how to play. Uno? game of life? Bleh. haha. if i play such games i think no one will turn up. haha. Gotta make a fast update then off i go! gotta think of name for my new baby cousin. hmmm, my uncle ask me to think of a english name for her. i tot he only mention it casually when i visit him 2 days ago but turn out he ask emily i tot of any already anot. 0_0 HELP! anyone who can think of nice names that means smart n beautiful, plz sms me or wat k? let me noe. first time la. nervous. so far only named pets. And they din turn out v well. haha. Mickey, boy boy, bebe, ah girl. my dogs name. -_-" but i din come up w em. mostly my mum did. haha. any sugestion is welcome~ Cant wait for pay day, i am so so so broke. left like few bucks. -_-" n i still owe emily money. if i cld, i wanna earn lotsa money so i can give it to my mum, clear all the debts, get a saving plan n have a holiday w my familt. we nv travel tog b4 so it will be gd. but of coz, i dun think mu mum will wan my dad along, my bro i hardly get to c n my elder sis is pregant. Sooooo, its more like half a family. hehe. Lately i have been having second tots abt leaving my job. thou i grumble alot abt it, this few days working w nice producers has made me wanna do better for em, u noe? like repay em or sumthing coz they r so nice. And there r ppl who wans me to stay. nice ppl. Hai~ wat shld i do. when have i become so wishy washy. well, come to think of it, long ago i guess. Coz i lost myself. i dun really noe me anymore so i dunnoe wat i wan too. A career to learn a new skill? or sumthing relaxing so i have more time for myself. then wat happens to designing? Saf suggest working at a more relaxe job first then brush up my design skills. But this i will worry abt income wise. hai, wish my family din end up like this. i'll be living a easy life now. but then, mite be shallow n rotten too. Poor has made me see alot of other things as well. i keep drifting. haha~ well, just think i am more mature after all that n i gain diff pespective abt things that ppl mite not even noe their whole life i guess. k then, gtg. byebye! rose |
0 rose(s) on your door Sunday, November 20, 2005 i'm v tired n stone now... dun have the energy or mood to do anything. just wanna sit down n stone. dun even feel like talking to nana or emily. v exhausted i guess..so when i finally get to sleep. my body clock is mesed up. n i think, mentally n physically its taken a toll. been ignoring the need to sleep just so to have more time with saf..but..without health, time only mite not be enuff...i'm tired..but i already slept for abt 10 hrs... Thursday, November 17, 2005 i just went to the doc again yesterday. got mc too. coughing now again. yucks! throat so itchy. And i did have a blood test, but a v general one i feel. i dunnoe, the way they work is sorta like anyhow. that idiot who draw my blood was noisily chatting with her friend n to her drawing blood is nothing. she like assume i noe wat to do. then when she poke the needle into my right hand n only as little blood came out, she pull in out alittle then poke in again then pull out again, then tell me, "dun have ah, u r too nervous" the just plaster it n signal for my other hand. i can slap her u noe. n she just chat chat chat. lousy service. even if u r damn busy i think alittle more compassion is needed. even the doc is like rushing. coz AMK polyclinic is damn crowded due to the temp closing of TPY polyclinic. i waited one hr for the medicine. Oh well, she say my blood is normal. Soooo, i am thinking of a PROPER full body checkup at a PROPER place. myabe queenstown polyclinic, they r nicer. i hate drwawing blood.... Tuesday, November 15, 2005 One of the funniest cartoon i'ver seen. thou when i was young, i look at them, yellow n weird. i din like em, but as i grow up, i appreciate their humour. Homer is the best! And he actually have a v nice quote that i tot i'll paste here. You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on. -Homer Simpson This from homer??? well of coz, its the scriptwriter. nvm, i'll just tk it as homer. anyways, i'm having cough. again. this is diff thou. i think my immune system is really low now coz of my poor diet. really poor diet for so long? egg sandwiches for lunches, fast food, fried food. My inside is getting bad. i'm considering a blood test coz i suspect i mite be having some problem. which, i shall not share yet coz i mite just be paranoid. hee, which is v likely. Monday, November 14, 2005 Just send nana to sch..quite tired actually, but guess i'll nap later, my working hrs r weird compare to usual ppl so i usually use afternooon shift wk as a "time for myself" wk nowadays. emily n my mum get offday today, Damn! i dun even have any leave that i can tk. haha. well, 7 more wks n off i go. with a new yr, comes a new life. my contract ends at exactly 31st dec so...i'll be doing countdowns to. bet ppl will have comments like i din pass my own stage ya noe? like they say its a passing phrase but i dun wanna go thru it. It doesn't interest me THIS much. editing is fine, but doing it everyday is a diff thing, too stressful n scary. ok, i grumble alot abt my job. i noe. it sickens me too. well, i'll just try to enjoy this 7 wk AND find a new job. Emily suggested air stewardess job. She say gd pay. GREAT!! I'll go if she goes. i nv been on a plane, NV, so this is like something diff i guess. wat i wan now is to get a job out of the film industry, earn more $$$. the rest we'll see. sumtimes i wanna do other things, but EVERYTHING now requires money. BLEH. Really broke this mth. sob sob. why??! why?!?! when i dun even shop or anything. Shall not let my mood affct this nice morning. going to have cereal then read bks~ byebye~ PS: to all my friends n those who read my blog, thanks so much for the encouragement~ appreciated it alot. dun worry abt me ya? and looking forward to meeting u guys~ And Abang Wan, watashi..watashi...hee~ Friday, November 04, 2005 suddely i feel tired of everything. i dunnoe. i wonder if actually we r just toys, or entertainment of some kinda "bigger ones", created for thier entertainment as the watch us from the cages they created for us, the world we r living in. Just like how we have pets like hamsters, rabbits, goldfish. we put them in a container n just look at them. finding things they do enteraining, amusing. maybe we r pets of some other ppl n we din noe? When they get bored, they stir the water smewhere, blow some air at us n we get hurricanes, tornado n floods. just to c how we react, n we do, just like any other animals, something happens then we start to tk notice. N we did archieve wat was needed, we create something worth seeing, worth noticing. i noe i sound abit off but maybe being a film student gets this all in my head. Like watching movies like matriz or the truman show. this kinda things. i'm finding it hard to juggle things in my life. family, friends, work, basically i have no balance i think. i have more to juggle in the family department than most ppl my age. i have a niece that, at the age of 6, has to panic coz she noes no one is gonna look after her the next day. she calls emily n ask her wat she shld do coz everyone dun wanna look after her. Her selfish mother i dunnoe wat to say. We can tell her a million times but she can still refuse to do anything. NO one, n I mean no one, maybe except her husband, can make her do wat she shld do. but then again, why shld he? they muz be thinking they have their lives to lead, well guess wat, so does everyone. but do they care? i dun think so. maybe everyone shld just be selfish n things will go their way. my friends, i hardly meet anyone, as everyone shld noe. count the times u get to see me per yr. the weird thing is, i notice, when u dun have gathering, u dun. but when u do, the come at abt the same time. i dun really mind thou. but bring my niece along like almost everytime has seen to taken its limit. driving my friends crazy. And to prioritise, if need be, i'll stay at hm with my niece or bring her out. i wanna see my friends too, mix ard with em. its makes me relaxe n glad to just have "reunions" but when i look at nana w no one, i feel i am being selfish. even when i am hm w her sometimes, i read story bks n let her entertain herself. thats no rite. but she dun have siblings to play w like i did. N i dunnoe how to play w kids. i get bored easily. i dunnoe y. i tot of not working n look after nana full time, but my selfishness dun dare do this. coz ultimately, i got my own life to lead as well. i just dunnoe how to seek a balance. no idea at al. And saf being in NS hardly has time outside n when he do. its precious time. Time seems to be restricted n i just wanna try my best to be free when he gets his free time too. i dunnoe, i blabberling. ignore me. there's so much going in my mind now, i dunnoe wat i'm saying. i dread going to work in a few hrs time. ever since that shouting incident, i'm back to wat i was the first 3 mths in MCS. i'm suffering from anxiety, i'm uptight. i wanna cry abt every little thing. i just wanna leave the job n stay at hm. hai~ i sound just P_A_T_H_E_T_I_C. tell me abt it. Wednesday, November 02, 2005 i'm waiting now, for the joss sticks to burn so i can burn the offerings and go meet saf... while waiting i tot i'll blog abit to get things off my chest..feeling v insecure or something, haunted by a bloody producer who shouted at me yesterday. An anal idiot who made me cry n cry yesterday. i dread going to work now..wanna just quit n be off but need 1 month notice. wats the point. n i think y shld i let an asshole make me quit? he wun even bloody CARES. He scolded me n we argued loh. the details i'll blog when i have the time. now i'm just anxious to leave... and i dye n cut my hair already...will try to post pic if i get my picture taken so u guys can cya? so some PPL wun say i look like prostitute. now i look like an angel. ha...not in the mood. cya |
Cookiesâ„Life " Just living isn't enough", said the butterfly, "one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson " December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 June 2006 July 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 February 2009 April 2009 August 2009 September 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 July 2010 January 2011 Designer : Chili. x o x o |