|
Sunday, February 27, 2005
flashkits has songs that i can use i think...last time went there n find that some can be used for short film actually. but, its like searching amng so so many. listening to em all drving me crazy. smart. be editior n sound. lucky package no need me to do. 0_0 that wuld mean, the whole of post pro. -_-" rose |
1 rose(s) on your door Saturday, February 26, 2005 well, today's weather is abit hot, but overall gd la. woke up, did housework with emily, showered, n here i am. feels gd to see the place clean. thats what i was thinking when i scrub the toilet, hmm, was wondering if it destress? hmmm...then handwash 2 of my clothes as well. besides my hands r rotting, i think i feel fine. haha, no, my feet feels funny after so much detergent n stuff got on it. :( well, yesterday was quite a gd day. hmm, was feeling quite gd the whole day. even jap lesson went on smoothly, guess i accept the fact that i really suck at it? but i noe i can work on it one la, this type i just need to put my mind to it. think my brains abit rusty, but can be fixed. then after that lunch. edit first step. then someone from student's affair called to say they got my wallet!!!!! wahoooo! after so many months. haha, so happily went to blk E to retrieve it, everything is inside! i dun noe if there is money thou, but there were coins so, hmm, also dunnoe. haha. but got my IC, student care, everything! so happy. luck i am poor, din have money to make new ones. YES! got back my identity. haha. then the person say actually last yr they founf it lei, but cant find me, they were calling my old hp n when they call my home, there is not response. of coz la, i'm in sch one, no one is at home. -_-" well anyway, just feel like its a bonus to get it back, shld thank the person who return it. but its been so long...haha..he/she mite not even remember it. haha then went back to editing, n mr james called to ask to see first step. *_* haha, i gotta rush it out by wed i guess. haha, nvm la, shall devour my time on mon to wed for it? but gotta do digi also. hmmm, goptta plan my time, cant afford to waste much time now. like wat i am doing. -_-" then went out with saf for a movie, we din plan it so cant really get proper seats. first 2 row at the side. 0_0 lucky my head is still attached to my neck. haha. abit comlictaing ah the movie. but still not bad i guess. haha, sets ppl thinking. well, i gtg already, wanted to say more, but times running out..cya Saturday, February 19, 2005 Somewhere there's speaking hmmm, just now after i read dennis's journal, i had something i wanted to say, but now, the renovation is really noisy n i cant think of anything... well, basically, hmm, i noe he is really scarred by me.. n thou its true i wun really understand wat he is going thru, the same it is for me. for me, no one can really understand too. i'n selfish, thinking abt myself but alot of things, ppl dun understand me too. they think they noe alot of things but the fact is ppl noe nuts and think they understand. i have ppl telling me i am a bitch, blah blah blah. some are casual remarks, last time i have ppl telling me i am a bitch but u noe the reason for being tell a bitch now is diff. i noe i am a bitch, but is it really so wrong to decide things for myself? i am not so sure of everything myself, the uncertainty that i step into is more than anyone can think, but i get comments along the way that doesn't help at all. there is ppl who care, and some u noe that are really worried. but, i dunnoe, just feel down again. things is not going smoothly for me but do i have to tell ppl? do i have to write the sadness on my face then they will care? certain things that dennis said on his journal i think mite be becoz he was feeling down, but somehow, i'm affected too. i dunnoe, after all that i've done, i dun expect him to treat me well or anything, but certain things he say, still makes me feel sad n hurt, but i deserve it, so i shld not say anything. but still, hmmm, things r complicating. u let the person down, but u dun wan the person to say that he/she dun wanna mind abt ur business, etc. i think, spelling it out just bites more. i wun expect the person too but i dun wanna hear it so bluntly, i'm only think abt my own feeling i guess... and things r not going smoothly for me, do i have to tell ppl ard me that too? ppl will think, after i decided it will be happily ever after. Rite. its not that way. there is alot of things that saf n me r facing. and i dun dare to really move on too. i have problems with trust, with negative support from ppl, with my own tots, i cant move on. N at first i tot i can. sumtimes i think, by standing on the spot n dwelling, thinking abt this n that wun help anything at all, so i shld just move on. But then, there r things that pull me back as well. things that makes me unable to move forward. i just get confused n frustrated again n again. wat have i been doing? what shld i do? muz things all be so complicated? i just wanna be myself now...think i'm sorta lost again.... Sunday, February 13, 2005 finally a morning that i woke up early...i make myself wake up at least on one day of the whole week, i sorta wasted one week i guess, but its the holiday, an excuse for me to do that. hu ask em to put CNY n term break tog so as to eat into our holiday? well, hope today goes well.... but du think i will say much here... Summary yesterday went to miss pat's place for CNY, met saf before that to pass him harddisk. was really short the meeting, coz i have to wait til desrina get nana n coz i suddenly change plans so she cldn't really rush over. then met hz n sandy. watch nitemare b4 christmas at miss pat's place, then go sandy's place awhile. quite fun, won some money. 1 plus but haiya, its the wining thats fun. then tk cab rush hm, burn my pocket coz it cost 10.80. my god, so ex. din realise i live so far frm sandy. went hm. tidy alittle bit, eat pizza, wait, Saf came to return harddisk, tried to warch animae just downloaded, v bored, fall asleep on the couch. woke up at 12, showered, sleep. Saturday, February 12, 2005 I sit alone In the dark theatre watchin' the people go by Hand in hand Everybody but me Oh I stay behind Watchin' the credits roll by Roll roll roll right by me I know, I won't cry Cause there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me Out in the rain Oh cry Not tonight Because there is somebody waitin' for me Oh yeah I take a walk The streets are busy tonight And I am searching for you Waiting to brush your shoulder But I'm alone I watch the faces roll by Roll roll roll right by me But I know, I won't cry Cause' there's somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me Out in the rain Oh cry Not tonight Because there is somebody waitin' for me How many words will go unspoken Not knockin' on my door I'm not talkin' the night I spent heart broken BUt tonight I know I won't cry no more Oh I lie awake I left the porch light on I hope it helps you to find your way Outside I hear the thunder roll by Roll roll roll right by me But I know, I won't cry Cause' there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me Out in the rain Not gonna cry tonight No cause there is somebody waitin' for me Not gonna cry tonight No No no no no Oh Not gonna cry Not tonight cause there is somebody waitin' for me I stay behind Watchin' the credits roll by Roll roll roll right by me its a nice song, but i think not much ppl noe... CAPRICORN (Dec 22 - Jan 19): You have an amazing ability to overcome obstacles in your life. When others feel the pressure of circumstances building up, they can collapse under the weight of responsibility. You Goats, however, get to work and use these events as opportunities to better yourself. Now is a good time to apply yourself toward reaching the goals you've set, even if there are some minor speed bumps in the road. ok..again. well, just founf out that they went to miss amy's house today. din even inform me abt that, n thou they have their reason, i dun feel its valid enuff, seems like they dun really bothered to find out..just assume...i say a few times i am going to my aunt's place, but they tot is my aunt going my place. and coz i say dun go out today, theu din inform me at all. i feel sad n disappointed. like, din even bother to find out or inform me. and abt tmlo, i call to ask then i realise that that time they did went ktv. yah, make it sound like it was a not happening thing but still, and i say if nana can go, i will go. but wat, wasn't even inform of anything, din even find out coz i tot its cancelled. wat... but watever lah, life still goes on, the earth is still spinning, ppl continue aging, the clouds continue floating. watever. i think i'm just not gonna have any expectations at all. not at all. wanna leave me out then go ahead la. emily say its like that when u get into a relationship in class. its a reason, but a crap one. i nv knew my friend n me will til such a superficial level but seems like i will have to tk things as it goes. i nv had this prob last time so maybe i m not used to it. but nvm lah, dun wanna get hurt by them anymore. i can exist or not exist in their life. fine. ppl change, i changed too. thinking of changing my blog again, since not much ppl is sharing, y shld i? things r just not the same is it? i'll just adapt to things i guess. u can choose to dwell on it or live with it. i choose to live with it. Thursday, February 10, 2005 i think my sleeping timing is abit...ah...its now normal but i dun feel normal. at 12 my eyes starts to close...and when i am answering sms, i notice these few days then i wake up n reply, then fall back n sleep again. Maybe i will wake up, but most prob i am in a unconcious state where i can hear the phone at all... -_-" thats abit horrible rite, i fall asleep v v v easily. like new yr eve, i fall asleep reasing spot light catalogue. v sad lei....then saf msg me a few times but i'm already in a coma le. need to organise abit ah. this few days sleep at least 8 hrs pr more, now my head fewa abit..eh... i dunnoe, headache-ish? but its not as bad la, last time sleep more than 6 hrs or wat will het headache le. now everything is messed up, so i think my head also dunnoe how to react. haha. well, today have to help dad. hmmm, abit lazy to, but, haiya, cannot be so lazy lah. then will get paid also...so...hmmm, shld just do la. can earn muz earn, the money will come in handy for me. need to put some in my pathetic bank with 10 bucks. haha. hopefull dun need to draw em so fast, but shld save for fusion's printing n so on. now the sch keep sending letter asking for sch fee. so idotic, haha, but cant ignore it for long la. see la, see how long they can keep asking me. haha. most prob tk loan from the sch lah, or watever. just get them off my back. but really, so used to this type of payment thing that i cant be bothered. -_-" ok, my gd singing song, 1985!!!!!! hahaha Wednesday, February 09, 2005 just wanted to grumble abit. shut the fuck up to certain ppl. its new yr..i'm bored at hm. -_-" new yr semm to get more n more boring in a way ah. think age gap also ba? dunnoe lei, this yr like no fun at all. i din gamble, was not in the mood to at all also. then came hm, watch tv. now online do nothing. shld get down with doing hw soon, later muz do le. no time le. haha. well, actually shld go out. but, its new yr, my mum will expect me to be home. n its sorta a self dispiline thing that me n emily have. like we lay down certain rules for ourselves since young. wat to do n not do, for my parents. think thats how we get the amount of trust they give us. like last time, when we have to sell stuff overnite at the wet market. my parents trust the 2 of us to tend to the stall til dawn while the rest. with the money and everything. i think there is alot of trust in that coz they juz leave their money to us n trust us enuff not to steal loh. for my elder sis n bro, they wun realli dare lah. then we can also just grab money from the pail, say need to pay bill. they wun question how much. haha. see? trust. haha. even til now i think my dad, whom we hardly seen, will just let leave the stall not worrying abt the money. wahahaha~ well, so, i shall stay at home n slack. n do work later. haha. just refuse to do work. i dunnoe y. the tot that its a holiday makes me refuse to do work i think. just refuse to. tsk tsk tsk. but its really kinda boring...hai, abit too sian le lo. work seem to be the only thing to do. new yr i shld be more hyper ah, then wun feel so bored. shld get out more. red packet is the highlight of the day. haha today got 68 in total. will look forward to wed where i can meet my father's side. wahah~ then i will get more. then, hmm, wun have much le. this yr dun wanna give mum half le, last yr tot she v broke then turn out my relatives got give her ang bao. -_-" so this yr, shall keep for myself. haha. but i think mite still give her some lah. dennis just called. hmm, gd to noe he is getting better slowly. hmmm, all the best to u ya? u're a great guy, will meet someone hu deserve u one day. and its really ok to blame me. like i say, u have all the right too. unlike some no brainers that just tok ya? that reminds me..haha. well, dun wanna tok abt it, for wat tok abt things that upset me, not in the mood to now. got more important things to do. Tuesday, February 08, 2005 ok, just sorta argue alittle with juan...haha. just wanted to remind her alittle lah. there is more to life than just enjoying la. but thats my opinion lah. coz the way i see it, seem like her life is abit superficial. do hair, nails, go club. u noe, that sorta thing. for me i think shld not waste too much time n money on all these type of stuff ah. like, since she got the moeny n time, i feel that she shld do sumthing more meaniful. but u noe, nothing worng with living life the way u want it, just tot that as a friend i shld tell her lah. leave a mark in life, she say anything u do will leave a mark, true, but the meaning of the mark is a diff thing. hmmm, tonight's not the nite eh. haha. but we r ok now. then just now tok with hz. dunoe wats wrong. -_-" like u can sense he joke til angry or wat loh. or maybe, he is just trying to joke at first. then got angry n decided to just show it, but still like joke. or watever la. -_-" try to make the conversation light hearted again but well, since he dun wan, then y i bother? seriously, i think he has a problem with me. maybe expect me to be like the past or wat, but as a friend i tot he will udnerstand my situation. when i was having a tough time breaking up n stuff, he din noe, so he din understand. thats ok. but now, i am with saf, of coz i will spend more time and attention to saf. but somehow, he dun seem really happy we r together, n he dun say anything. so how am i suppose to noe wat he is thinking? concerned? irritated? wat? the mood just switch here n there. i dunnoe, but i got comment on his blog before we shld tok. since he din reply anythign to that. maybe he just dun wanna tok la. but i dun think i wanna continue guessing or trying to get into his gd bk. maybe u dun notice, but at times i try to pay attention to u instead of Saf. Maybe u also dun notice that i am trying to maintain the friendship. and maybe, u shld just tell me waht the hell is wrong so i can stop guessing n be on guard all the time in case i step on ur toe n u suddenly show me attitude again. its like, hello~ wat is going on? its like u speak in riddles n expect me to noe. coz to u "if in the past, i will noe" well coz in the past u tell me more things wat!!!! i dun even noe y i muz try so hard u noe?!!! it is to no avil n u will just switch back on n off again!!!! all the things like leak out information n all that. wat is that all abt?!!!! like suddenly ah, i am like a dunnoe wat that will reveal things n watever. so much faith n trust u have for me as a friend. thank you v much but i think i have enuff already. i have been trying to tolerate it n hope things for the better. but u noe, if u dun tell me whats goping on, itd gonna be the same forever, n its crazy for me to forever be guessing. sorry, the me last time will noe what u r toking abt, yes, the me last time. and the you last time i will noe wat the u last time is toking abt, yes, the u last time. but for now, if u r gonna just focus on last timeand keeping quiet. i dun think anything is gonna change. i'm sorry, but i think its time i speak out. maybe u shld too, so i can see ur point of view. *sigh* get so agitated... -_-" really not a gd nite... i'm crazy...ppl's really crazy. siao. i dunnoe lei. but certain things really bothers me. people especially. Sunday, February 06, 2005  You are a vampire, but one that consists of denile shame for what you are, you try and live life normaly, feeding on animals, but living in the shadows, you regret your gift from ever coming to you. You are constantly in a state of sorrow and self pitty, so a tip for you would be is, don't be ashamed, there are much worse things out there than being a vampire, and if you use your gift correctly you could live a normal as can get, happy life, but if you stay in the shadows any longer you will become one your self. Please rate this quiz! What Kind Of Vampire Would You Be. (New And Improved, With COOL Pics!!!) FOR GIRLS ONLY!!!! brought to you by Quizilla  B: Your Beauty lies
Some Things
Element:
Gemstone:
Quote:
Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::.. brought to you by Quizilla Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Come on out. It's time to leave the dim lights behind and step right out into the spotlight -- and isn't it about time? You've been hiding your light under a barrel for far too long. hollywood here i come! riteeee...haha CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): You feel at conflict, for your mind is full of big ideas, your dreams are overtaking your waking hours and your feelings are popping out all over. You may not be as inclined to keep everything to yourself. This is not comfortable terrain for you Capricorns. Remember that your emotions don't have to be explained. Your feelings don't have to fit into the outer world. They simply need to be felt. You'll return to your senses soon enough. wow, two different ones. but i think this type of things apply to ppl who believes it. well, in a daze now. just woke up. -_-" Saturday, February 05, 2005 i dun owe anyone my life u noe?Maybe only my parents? But some ppl thinks i owe them in my life time like that. hello~~~~~  -Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend. What Kind of Girlfriend Are You? brought to you by Quizilla  Nemesis ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla Your Gothic... Maybe even a bit Vampyric... Your very sensitive, sometimes you can be outgoing in your own population. Your sometimes Lonely, but when your alone your much happier. If your suicidal, it's okay, because your the kewlest person I know!....well don't actually know you but yeah! Write me and Tell Me if you picked Napoleon or Ron! Are you a Vampire/Goth/Punk/Poser/Emo/ or just a plain PREP!? brought to you by Quizilla  You hate not to love but you hate to fall in love. You can't help but sigh when you see to people kiss in the park and all. You don't like to go over board and believe in a small steady relationship at first so that it can grow. You also like to think that you can have that kiss that puts you into a portal and you can't get back until he/she stops. How much do you love? GOOD PICS brought to you by Quizilla  Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful, kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your almost angelic, you find joy in others happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in pain. You want to make everyone around you feel good about themselves and if someone is upset you can tend to become rather upset as well which means you are sympathetic and raise others above yourself. Being as kind and good-natured as you are people have most likely hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up every time. You may look fragile but you are stronger than most tend to see. Life is beautiful no matter how you look at it and you understand that people make mistakes, not everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever let anyone change you. You truly have a beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold. .:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers- brought to you by Quizilla oh yah, i had a weird dream last nite. i dreamt that i tried to cross the road, v dangerous, the big lorry was driving and i just decided to risk. and i ran, tried to run faster coz i realise its gonna hit me, and it did. the bid lorry hit me n i drop to the ground, and 2 guys kidnapped me. i forgot y n for wat. and they refuse to believe that i dun feel too gd. one of my lungs doesn't seem to work v well, i had problem breathing. thou not in alot of pain, but i wasn't feeling v gd either. then everything is jumble up. cant really remember... somehow i got back home after some stuff, cant remember, then some ppl throw 3 leeches into my room thru the window. for prank or something. then nana din noe n lay her mattress on top, she squashed 2 i think, n alittle blood spit on her arm. it begin to redden her skin, so ask her to go wash it. then i dunoe wat the hell happen, its like bits n pieces here n there. Then my mama ask me if there were blood in my dream, for the accident there wasn;t. theres a myth or watever, tey say if u dream abt accident or death, u must tell someone after u wake up to break the spell, this way it wun come true. and if there is blood, it means gd. well , my mama ask me to be careful. i think i will ba. haha. its 8 plus, i am surfing the net...such a long time before i do this ya noe. used to wake up n jog at 7am, then after that rest awhile, surf net, do work. now i always sleep til dunnoe when, then the morning is basically gone when i wake up la. today is coz my mum called at ard 8am, ask me to go downstairs help her carry stuff. i din even noe its her off day. -_-" wat a daughter... then she really really bought alot of things. -_-" DFV train me to carry heavy stuff but plastic bags really ah, the fingers will rally hurt loh. like, i dunnoe, blobking the blood? haha. So wash up, went down, then eat BF, din eat much, stomachache. as i eat the food turn to shit. haha~ no lah, dunnoe wat also. haha. carrot cake n ice milo. so unhealthy hoh? hehe~ then just ask me wanna go NTUC anot, wei....so early open meh? haha. so most prob will be going soon. just remembered suppose to meet liting to pass her her camera today. i can forget such a thing. nvm lah, can go look at clothes too. hopefully they got something i like, n not expensive. dun wanna spend too much on clothes, mum's hard earn money. thou she spend it abit fast. -_-" but, haha, thats not the point, its her money mah. if i were her, i think i will be really sian ba. work work work. like no life lei. but then again, if i have that responsibility, i will ba? i think...haha. its in emily n my blood, responsiblity. which my bro n elder sis lack. aniwae, yesterday got walk walk with saf ard to look for his n mine clothes. but basically, i got bored after awhile lah. like the more i see, the more sian i get lei. -_-" ok, first, they are, i dunnoe, just din really c wat i want, and some are like abit ex, but i think most clothes are this type of price, so u noe, its normal. but still, dunnoe lei, din really c something i wan. always like that loh, can shop the whole day n not buy anything. so me. haha, din shop for too long la. i'm disconnected to the world. and my extreme dressing sense is jumping ard, i dunnoe where i am now. like adeline says, its idientity crisis. well, Saf bought 2 shirts that looks really gd on him. guy's clothes really expensive hoh. each cost abt 60 bucks, i think his heart is bleeding. haha, til he claims it from his father lah. then hz's mum manage to force him to buy new yr outfit so i think he is ok, sandy long ago bought her clothes le. think...hmmm, during christmas sale or something? cant really remember. emily bought 2 tops le, so left me. yes yes, even my mama bought a dress n a t-shirt. nvm, when i get really desperate, i will last min manage to get something one, or wear old vlothes. but new yr they say first 2 days muz wear new clothes. hmmm, so see how lah. its traditional but still. tsunamis victim dun even have clothes ok??!!all old clothes. and ppl are like slowly forgetting abt them? hmm, i think coz at first when it first started, everyone is like still fresh n shocked by it. now its like old news. so they get on with their lives. and i think everyone already donated, so no money to keep donating? hmm, but i see the way some ppl use their money ah...tsk tsk tsk. especially ppl my age, say broke broke broke, but always going out, ktv,movie, cafes, buy this buy that. then say broke broke. cannot tahan sia. do they noe what is call broke anot? their broke is like, not broke loh. still got money in their accounts n so on. only mouth say. well, say so much, i'm jealous of this injustice, more like abit irritated by this type of superficial young ppl lah. its like when i go to orchard or watever n look at the ppl, wearing branded, really dressed up, i will feel they are really shallow n superficial. coz from there, u can see they spend alot on such things. n they go to cafes, restaurant n stuff. i just feel they are wasting their parents money loh. i'm one of them last time. lucky i'm not now. haha. if i live my life that way, its really gonna be a wasted life i feel. immerse in the superficial surface in life. but then again, that type of life u get another type of happiness too. hmm, like no worries, just live ur life. but thats the problem as well. some kids, i dun think they even have part time job before! well, things happen for a reason, mine, i matured faster ba? i think....haha Friday, February 04, 2005 hmmm, i got another pair of converse shoes as birthday gift from adeline they all today..haha. suddenly i have alot of shoes..hehe~ cool. hz they all bought one for me, noe i get another. this ones diff from the other one, high cut, grey n pink lines. hz they all give one its black with white types. both are cool, haha, like diff style but rock in their way. thanks ppl. and dennis gave me a white pair of shoes too, its more girly type, and its white in colour. nice, v sweet looking. like me. Rite. -__-" thanks alot alot to everyone for remembering my birthday n giving me gifts. hmm, maybe i shld list out like l;ast time ah. haha~ so self centered. hmmm, ok, there is not fav or wat ah, i just list as it goes. like wat i got first lah. K700i, white shoe from dennis shawl, flower from eeling 2 tops, choco cake from mum converse shoes, red boxers, KTV from sandy,hz,nee wee,ming chen, cliff (michael ktv) necklance from Saf sling bag from emily, juan,vic lunch, nike shorts from charlie converse shoe from adeline, pong, aung, beng, ice, mabe selina? hmm, i thinks thats the list..haha. thanks alot everyone. its like birthdays are the best man. haha. hmmm, only part is i'm sorry to nee wee, his birthday i was too broke to get him anything n i din noe abt the combine gift thingy. aniwaed, thanks everybody. btw, i discover a really cute lead singer in The Calling. my god..he is really gd looking, like aron carter.. and the more i look at his pic, wah sei, the more i get idol fever. been so long u noe, lee brahnam was the last i think? and thats quite long. hmm, but he is my new idol. haha~ his voice not bad too, dun match his face but, well, doesn't matter. shall put his pic n song then, haha Wherever You Will Go
So lately, I've been wonderin Thursday, February 03, 2005 today, Saf n i are officially together...hmmm. its quite sweet lah. he really..haha, makes me happy i guess. :) haha. well, i decide not to think so much already..no matter how much i think, how much i get upset or wat, its not going to change anything, i'm just gonna live for the here n now. ( no, not OD man) haha, i mean, really, i think its time to start afresh :) since i made a decision, i shld live with the consequences. the guilt, the pain, everything. but i think its time to stop already... i choose to start a new chapter with Saf so i shall do that whole heartedly, shld not be indecisive or anything. thou he say i give him 76% instead of 100%, but i think the "me" now, cant give a 100%. hmm, i sorta dun trust myself now and, i dunnoe, hmm, i dun feel that committed, as in, hmm, i dunnoe, it feels diff. together, but, dun feel there is much commitment. hmm, maybe its just me. haha. watever it is... hmmm, i think i wanna live life happy now. its time. and, hmm, saf dun deserve with me being on n off all the time. no one deserve it lah. well, today tk photo for digi. took the camera from Saf, then he company me tk pics coz he decide not to go sch, he got nothing to hand up. haha. slack awhile at his place den when orchard. realise orchard nothing to tk in the day, went east coast, tk a few pics, sandy msg, late for interview, rush to raffles mrt, look for the place, interview, go orchard tk piv again. attempt a few times, cannot, give up. slack at orchard. its ok lah. some pics is quite nice. but din get much pic also, not enuff time coz suddenly got the interview thingy. then hmmm, at nite cant really tk also, coz the camera's shutter speed is auto. so, hmm, everything is basically blurred. so after a few attempts, i decide not to waste time. its nice lah, slack. haha, these 2 days slack quite abit, tk it as a break. but gotta make up for it soon lah. cant slack too much also. well, mood just spoiled, emily needs to transfer file, tot v fast, but no, still need to tok to ken abit, then my msn keep blinking, so abit irriated. then, her dinner with her ex- friends at attchment company postpone to tmlo. N i have a dinner tmlo too. i told her just now, then realise her one postpone. tsk, muz rush hm bring naa, then rush back again. wat loh.... so ma fan. but she always taking nana to sch n back, so i gotta do my part as well. then friday, wanna go shop for clothes. with nana ard, its impossible to do that. she run ALL over the place. so, ask desrina, the irresponsible mother-as-thou-its-our-responsinle-to-tk-care-of-nana. then she msg back say she is in the hospital for asthma, later then say. what the hell. not that i dun wanna pity u, but u gotta do ur part lady, always saying things like nana is our responsiblity. she is, but not exactly. cant u do more of ur part. yah, u r pregant, diabetic, sick. i noe i sound mean, but she is that type that will keep thinking n thinking, feeling she is sick, really sick n stuff like that. that type u noe? like, hmmm, act more sick than she really is coz she keep thinkin she is sick sick sick. like, when she say she is bored at hm, wanna get part time, emily say she wants to get part time too. guess what desrina say? " then who tk care of nana?" Hullo...? nana is ur child leh. tsk tsk tsk. amazing.... she is really growing up with not enuff attention n guidance. once awhile dun count. tsk tsk. i dunnoe lah, now that she is not working, i feel she shld do more of her part/ alot of women also got problems, but they still tk gd care of their kids wat... hai, dunoe lah. i dun wanna think of nana as sumthing troublesome but i cant really help it sunmtimes.. we have to rush to sch, bring her to sch b4 that, rush home if lesson ends late to fetch her..its like... y i even have to do that? i cant like, go out as i like n all that after lessons. and weekends, i cant go out freely also..wat is that man... its unfair.... i dun get to do things freely as a young adult beocz of some mistake ppl make. tsk tsk, poor nana. Tuesday, February 01, 2005 i was browsing through my old emails, well this poem is really nice. so shall share it ba. like so many ppl read my blog like that. wahahah. nvm, enjoy~ its v meaniful IF I KNEW If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right. There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. well, this song, found it on yun jie's CD, liked it, thou i din really listen to the lyrics, well, it sounds abit..hmmm, dunnoe? haha, i like the song still. here goes~ "Black Black Heart" Something ugly this way comes Through my fingers sliding inside All these blessings all these burns I'm godless underneath your cover Search for pleasure search for pain In this world now I am undying I unfurl my flag my nation helpless Black black heart why would you offer more Why would you make it easier on me to satisfy I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core I'm eating all your kings and queens All your sex and your diamonds As I begin to lose my grip On these realities your sending Taste your mind and taste your sex I'm naked underneath your cover Covers lie and we will bend and borrow With the coming sign The tide will take the sea will rise and time will rape Black black heart why would you offer more Why would you make it easier on me to satisfy I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core I'm eating all your kings and queens All your sex and your diamonds Black black heart why would you offer more Why would you make it easier on me to satisfy I'm on fire I'm rotting to the core I'm eating all your kings and queens All your sex and your diamonds All your sex and your diamonds All your sex and your diamonds All your sex and your diamonds All your sex and your diamonds |
Cookies♥Life " Just living isn't enough", said the butterfly, "one must also have freedom, sunshine, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Anderson " December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 April 2006 June 2006 July 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 April 2008 July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 February 2009 April 2009 August 2009 September 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 July 2010 January 2011 Designer : Chili. x o x o |